I’m scared of what is to come

My sons father is being released in April, and that terrifies me more then I even want to admit. He beat me on multiple occasions and while I was 27 weeks pregnant he raped me and beat me and didn’t care what happened to us. My son is what pushed me to fight but at the end of the day I live with this. The nightmares always come back. And now more so then ever. His year of jail time for what he did to me is almost up and I’m honesty petrified… I don’t know how to handle it. I don’t know how to cope… I know I am strong but only because I have to be not because I want to or because i can choose to. I KNOW that I NEED to be strong for my son. It doesn’t change the fact that again I’m terrified of his father and his fathers family.


I am so sorry to hear what you have been through and it’s totally understandable why you feel the way you do. You don’t have to see him once he is released - especially if you are concerned for your safety. If it is because he has visitation rights with your son, you could look into programs that will be the go between (ie. get your son to the visitations ect), so that you don’t have to see him.

Stay Strong!!

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Thank you so much for sharing your story. It takes a lot of courage to do so. If your son and yourself are up for it, maybe relocate? Sometimes new scenery/environment can be a nice refresher and/or create new beginnings! :heart:

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Dang nitemarenati, I can’t imagine. It’s gotta be so terrifying to feel like you’re about to be hunted. Like your freedom and safety are about to be taken. Like your life is about to be terrorized. I can’t imagine looking out over the horizon and seeing that kind of dark cloud looming in the distance. I’d be petrified too.

I want to offer you a prayer and some hope. God, my friend needs your power to come through for her…she’s facing a terrifying situation, and it feels like a storm is on the distance she won’t be able to weather. I remember Jesus that when you were in the middle of a storm with your friends that felt like too much, you spoke and the storms ceased. So Jesus, I’m asking you to speak. To calm these storms in her heart and in her life. To come through for her so that she wouldn’t be attacked by this man. To preserve her peace and safety and wrap her in your arms. Jesus would you stiff-arm this man from her life, from causing her more pain. Do not allow him to harm her, in Jesus name.

I know in my times of true terror, when I feel I can’t stop something from happening myself, I have to find some hope, some sense of safety, and in those moments, I find it in God. If you’re in over your head and can’t fight this alone, just know you don’t have to. God wants to fight for you, to be your defender, your protector, your refuge. It’s alright if you don’t know God, like God, want to believing in God. You don’t have to. But if you’re in a place where you need someone to save you, He will come through. You can ask for help if you need it.

I’m hoping with you that your fears are not what come to pass. I’m hoping for you that Jesus will calm the storm in your life. And I’m hopeful that you and your son will be safe.

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Thank you, honestly all I can say is thank you. I try to live my life with the hope that god will guide me and that he doesn’t put things or put me through things that I can’t handle. My light at the end of my tunnel and the weathering to my storm is the smile my son shows me when he wakes up every day. And when I come home to him tired as I may be from a 10 hour shift. He is what makes me strong he is why I fight my inner demons each and every day. Why I push and fight for. So all I can say is thank you for reminding me of what I tend to forget when I’m afraid. That I’m strong and I’m that way because of my faith in a better day tomorrow.

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If you are having issues about his father being released or his family you should report it to the lawyer if you had one. If you had a lawyer they should of had a pfa put in place when he was out and about before his jail time. If they did and now he’s being released it ran out then you should get another one activated if possible. If not and if he or anyone he knows contacts you in any manner connected to him then you call the police immediately and have a no contact order placed on him. (At least if it is USA).

If you don’t have a lawyer I suggest obtaining one. Since your son is an anchor to your mental health, etc. I suggest also obtaining a lawyer to put in proceedings to obtain full custody of your son if you haven’t. Even if the father was in no way in a relationship with you and just rape you, he still has the opportunity of joint custody. This is a problem. (Sorry for bringing it up. I just want you to think about things and prepare properly for them. I hope this isn’t added stress. I just want to give you all the help possible that I can lend.)