I’m a broken mess. I’m a fucked up mess. I’m 26 and all i want is someone to come home to at the end of the day. I don’t want any relationship, but a good one. I won’t go into a bad fit or toxic relationship just to have someone, but sometimes I wonder if thats the right choice.
I just want to fucking hug a woman. I’m unwantable though. im probably a sex addict, which is ironic since Ive never had sex. Porn, porn, and more porn. Sometimes I’ll find a woman to chat with online but its almost a compulsive seeking. Its the closest I can get to any sort of meaningful affection though so I seek it.
Ive posted stuff before that basically boiled down to “I’m lonely some woman please come voice chat with me while we masturbate so for a half second I can feel like I’m not completly alone”. Of course people send all kinds of hate my way when I post something like that. You know what though? Its deserved, its a shitty thing to look for, cause I’m a shitty person.
We’ve spoken before. I’m sorry you are still struggling and having a hard time. I know I never have the answers you need or much help. But I want you to know that I care.
You aren’t a shitty person. You are a human who is struggling. I’m sorry that things are still so hard for you. I know I can’t fix it but I see you. And want you to know I read your post. I care. And I hope and pray in my heart that you are able to find peace, resolve and fulfillment.
@startingover993
Hey there. Sorry to hear about your unfortunate circumstance, but I can assure you that this is a problem you can fix!
Have you ever tried communicating with women in real life situations, not the internet? Are you comfortable going out to meet people? Because if you have the courage to ask complete strangers to masturbate with you over voice chat- then I’m sure you can summon up the courage to at least say hello to a woman in real life. (Unless you prefer being an anonymous internet user…then this situation may be more difficult to navigate)
I think if you are looking for a meaningful relationship, the best way to start is by forming friendships. But that’s just my opinion.
Best of luck to you!
-Eyeless
I talk to women all the time in real life, I have several good friends that are women. No the problem is that I can’t seem to ever find anything more than friendship in real life.
The only person who thinks you’re unwantable is you. Me pointing that out doesn’t fix what you’re feeling, and I do know what you’re feeling. I bet women don’t recoil when you walk by them on the street. The great thing about getting older is that people look for your intrinsic value more than your dashing good looks.
The first and hardest step is to learn to love yourself. My wake-up slap on this was when my girlfriend of 5 years told me “I’m tired of being a crutch to prop you up while you flagellate yourself.” There are umpteen thousand guides on self-loving, you’ll have to do what works for you, but a simple enough start would be to make an HONEST AND OBJECTIVE list of your positive traits. No disqualifiers!
Of course you want sex. We all want sex. It’s natural and nothing to be ashamed of, and it’s not problematic (i.e. an addiction) unless it’s interfering with your life. Being 26 and not having had sex, not of your own volition, has to be tough. But when you finally have sex, all the years you spent not being sexually active won’t matter anymore. It will happen; hopefully she’s worth the wait.
I know it’s lonely out there, but compulsively seeking a substitute for meaningful affection cheapens the whole experience. The fact that you’re posting about it says it’s not exactly filling the void. Take a break from chasing women, just for a little bit. Right now you’re struggling with this; when you stop struggling, you’re resting. As I tell you that, I know you won’t do it until you’re ready, and that’s fine; just remember it is an option.
This isn’t the place to ask for phone sex buddies, and in a place where people come seeking safety, that kind of advance is off-putting. But you are not a shitty person. You’re lonely. I understand why you’re asking, even if it is inappropriate. You don’t deserve hate. You deserve safety and support, and if you come here seeking that, you’ll find it.
She’s out there somewhere, waiting to meet you, all in due time and when you least expect it.