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I might be moving

my moms moving in with my cousin on the first, and I’m not sure if I want to stay or go with her, I love my dad and we’ve recently been doing a lot better, I’m able to talk to him now and its very obvious he cares for me, and I feel like if i leave him I’m betraying him and I’m betraying myself, but my moms being a lot nicer, she hasn’t been that bad in a few days, and she promised me she wouldn’t drink again. my dad has some very bad flaws, i have to act like a different person around him, i cant really be myself around anyone in my family except my mom, which is where my problem is. i recently got a lock on my door, i have a tv and a console, and i don’t want to leave any of those things behind, but one wrong move and my dad could get pretty angry with me. i don’t know if i trust my mom not to drink, but i know my cousin would be there to help me. if i go with my mom ill be betraying my dad and myself, but if i don’t go, i might not see her again, and shes done so much to me, but i still love her and i don’t know how id be able to live without her for so long. im not sure if my dad would allow me to come back if things got bad with my mom, and im not even sure if im legally allowed to stay with my dad at the moment, there are many ways this could end badly and i don’t like either option. i wish someone had to tell me what to choose, i wish it wasn’t up to me. i would miss so many things if i left with my mom, and its hard to live with my dad, but i don’t know if my moms able to follow through. im genuinely not sure. it always seems so much easier to pick when im mad at one of them. “oh ill go with my dad” “oh ill go with my mom.” but now that im on good terms with both of them, it makes it so hard to choose. and i don’t want to choose either of them, i wish my mom wasn’t leaving, or my dad was going with, but that’s not things are.

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This sounds like a tough situation to be in. I don’t know the background, or details in depth of what you have been through, but I think sometimes in situations like this it is best to go with what your gut is telling you. I’m not sure this is good advice or not. Just what I would do. I would ask the universe to give me some kind of guidance and I would go with my gut. I think that no matter what path you take in life there will be pitfalls. I hope you chose the one with the fewest and it works out for you. Regardless, heart support is here for you if you need to vent.

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