I need advice on this

I’m here looking for advice & this is the only place where I feel like I receive the best and honest opinions. I’ve anybody has seen my recent posts, I’ve talked about how depressed I was about my ex who I lasted 5 years with. I made mistakes, but I fixed them in order to make things better and get through this & work it out. Unfortunately, she made mistakes in my opinion she’s made worst. She has put me in a position where I feel like I am competing with somebody else. When I was trying to make it work I caught the other guy and her house and witness her go after him instead of me. After that yes I got really depressed again, asking myself I’m I not enough? I started drinking and crying every single night.

However, now I feel happy, I recently started seeing this girl and I have gone out with her on a couple of dates, she honestly has a put a smile on my face and makes me forget about the bad stuff. She makes me forget more and more every single day. Day by day I feel like things are turning around and are working out for me even though sometimes I still feel alone, ugly, and not enough even for her.

This is where i need advice. My ex now wants to try and is telling me she wants to make it work & that she doesn’t talk to the other guy at all, but I’m asking “why now?” Why when I was trying , instead you were lying to me and in my opinion you played me. Sleeping with the other guy at a hotel, and the next day telling me you love me and want to move in and hope for the future. Why now she wants to try? Was is it because you found out I can find someone better and someone who can make me happy again?

I feel stuck, because obviously 5 years is a long time, but she also hurt me, even though sometimes it sounds like she doesn’t admits it, but I’m i wrong for ingonoring my ex’s messages and just focusing on this girl who has my attention? Is me putting my foot down a good thing? I need advice because in my opinion I feel like I’m doing the right thing.

Hi there, @erick_ocampo! ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

Please focus on the other girl who things are actually going well with! Don’t ruin it and throw what you’re exploring and building with her for your ex who has demonstrated time and time again that she does not care about you nor the relationship you two had.

5 years is definitely a long time to be with someone. You two have history and while it does take time to heal, it’s still hard to move on from that. I believe in giving people second chances, but they need to earn that by showing that they’ve changed and are willing to continue changing for the better. And her actions clearly demonstrated that she’s honestly just messing with you.

You are not wrong for ignoring her texts. You need to establish boundaries and putting your foot down and drawing out those boundaries is healthy for you. Especially in the mental health department.
I know how hard it is to keep those boundaries drawn when it comes to an ex that you have a long history with. But keep staying strong and enforcing those boundaries in whatever ways necessary. :sparkling_heart:


@erick_ocampo I agree with @deerintheheadlights . I hate to be a negative nanny. I think the only reason your ex decided to pay heed to your pleads now is that she always thought you’d be there to rebound to when she was done with her fun guy. Now she saw that this may not happen. She now has competition.

She could be planning to ruin what you have with her competition. This way she can find another fun guy & leave you in the dust so when she decided all the fun has been had that maybe she’d allow you to spend the rest of your days serving her. In other words she doesn’t and never has seen you as her partner but her manservant. You guys were never equal. The only clear reason she is even given any thought to you because another woman has laid claim to you and this spoils her plans.

Your ex clearly has no respect for you and will never see you as an equal let alone as a partner. You need a partner that treats you as an equal. Stay with the girl that puts a smile on your face. Leave your ex behind and move on.