I need advice :(

So I posted about a week ago about a girl I met. We went on two dates talk everyday. I do like her. But she wants to rush and make it official already after like 9 days of talking and hanging out twice. And already is talking about kissing and holding hands. We hung out yesterday for the second time and she hinted in that she wanted me to kiss her in text and body gesture but I’m not trying to rush. Uhm she says that she is ok with not rushing but idk. I do like her but I think it’s way too early to talk about a relationship. But it feels like we been talking for months already and doesn’t feel like we met last week. My last fling with someone really did a number on me where I’m like really nervous about opening up and trying to get close to someone😪 I haven’t dated anyone over a year and a half

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No Need To Rush Into Anything My Friend.
One Day At A Time.
All Pretty Flowers Take Time To Bloom.


Definitely no pressure for things to fit into a certain timeline. If something is making you uncomfortable, then it is okay to express that and feel that. You can like someone but still need boundaries for yourself or take your time and that’s okay. It sounds like you’ve talked about the things that are making you uncomfortable and if not, that’s a good place to start. I’m sorry that your last relationship did not go well :frowning: Bad relationships can really stick with us but you can overcome the pain of that relationship with time and intentionality.

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Honestly, no matter who it is, do NOT let ANYONE pressure you into doing anything you are not comfortable with doing. If you don’t want to be intimate right now, that’s okay.

A good relationship has communication, honesty, trust, open mindedness and compassion for each other. You guys aren’t even in a relationship yet, so she needs to respect your boundaries and feelings. If she can’t do that, then that, in my opinion, is a red flag. Not that she isn’t a good person. But in order for relationships to work you have to respect each other’s feelings. She needs to try to understand your feelings and where you’re coming from and be okay with that.

My partner didn’t want to be intimate for a year and some months when we first got together. I mean, he held my hands and we’d kiss. But beyond that he wasn’t ready for it.

It was definitely a challenge for me as I had been in a relationship that went on for 15 years prior to us being together. So it was hard having to live without that intimacy for over a year. But we got through it. Because more important things were at hand. So I respected that. And it showed me that he loved me for more than just intimate reasons. So as hard as it was, it was good to see that. For me anyway. As I’ve had a bad history with men and relationships.

My best advice to you is to be open and honest with her. Share your feelings. And I hope that she will respect those. If she can’t, then maybe a relationship isn’t good anyway. Do not feel pressured. You do not have to do anything you don’t want to.

A good friend or person will never make you feel pressured.

Good luck my friend

  • Kitty
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Hey my dude. Reading your story, I agree with what @anon17277947 said. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to. I know you’re nervous about getting close, and that’s okay. But don’t shut the door yet, just make sure this girl values you and doesn’t want this relationship for anything but you.
You got this, just take it one day at a time.

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