I have been struggling with active suicidal thoughts since January.
I cannot afford therapy, my family doesn’t take mental health seriously, my friends feel uncomfortable talking to me about how I’ve been feeling. I’m at a loss.
I have journaled, I have made a safety plan, I try to do activities that usually cheer me up but none of it is working. It has been this way for months.
I told myself that if I couldn’t feel better by May then I just won’t get better and that I should just end it all.
My family constantly tell me that I am a
burden on them and if they can’t love me then who will?
I have tried SO hard to stay here, I have tried to feel better but I haven’t been able to. I feel like I’m losing myself. I just want someone to understand what it is that I’m going through. I want someone to empathize with my pain.
I need help. I’m making this post as a sort of a last resort. I just want someone to help me.
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I’m really sorry you’re feeling this way, and I’m glad you reached out. It sounds like you’re going through an incredibly tough time, and I want to acknowledge the strength it took to share your feelings here. I understand you’re struggling with thoughts of suicide, and I’m really sorry to hear that the support around you has been lacking.
It’s incredibly isolating to feel like your family and friends don’t understand or aren’t there for you the way you need. I’ve been in situations where it felt like no one was really listening or taking my mental health seriously. It’s a terrible feeling, and it can leave you feeling even more alone.
You’ve been doing a lot to try and help yourself already—journaling, making a safety plan, and doing activities that usually cheer you up. Even though it doesn’t seem to be working right now, these actions show your resilience and willingness to fight through the pain. It’s okay to acknowledge that sometimes these things don’t give us the immediate relief we’re seeking, and it’s not a failure on your part.
When I was in a similar place, I found it helpful to focus on small acts of self-care, like listening to music that made me feel understood, finding an online support group where people were going through similar things, or just writing out my thoughts and not judging myself for how I felt.
The way your family has treated you is really hurtful, but their words do not define your worth. You deserve love, kindness, and understanding, and I’m so sorry you’re not getting that right now. Please know that there are people out there who would listen without judgment and who understand the depth of this kind of pain.
You’ve made it this far, and I believe in your strength to keep going. You’re not a burden, and your life has value even if it’s hard to see right now. I’m rooting for you, and I’m really glad you’re here.
Words cannot express how helpful this was to read. I really needed this reminder. Thank you for replying
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