Long story short, I’ve been dealing with depression and anxiety on and off for a long time now. Right now, it’s on and I’m really struggling right now. I just feel really lost and without direction in every single aspect of my life. I’m in a career that I don’t enjoy and I’ve been working on a photography side business but I have no idea what I’m doing. I was raised in a Christian home and now I’m starting to question all of that. I just had a daughter and I feel angry at myself for not having my shit together for her. My wife knows something is up but I don’t want to tell her. I just really feel like a failure some days and want to just end it I guess. When I think about how I’m feeling I start to feel worse. It’s so stupid, I know it is, but I can’t shake it. Anyone else just want to quit everything some days? What gets you through?
Thank you for sharing your struggles and heart on here. We hear you. And you are definitely not alone in the struggles you face.
How you’re feeling is not stupid. It’s how you feel. Your feelings are valid.
I believe that honesty is the best thing, especially in a marriage. I would talk to your wife. You may feel better doing so. If she is supportive, sharing with her means that you won’t be carrying this heavy burden yourself. You won’t feel like you have to “hide” how you’re feeling.
Lots of people deal with depression and anxiety. That fact alone doesn’t make it any easier. But know that you aren’t the only one. There are others in this fight alongside of you, facing the same battle.
Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to “have it all together” for your daughter. Putting that pressure on yourself is just going to make you feel worse. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Reach out for help. Talk to a counselor or see a doctor if need be. But, in this moment, right now, just allow yourself to feel it. Just be. Rest.
You are enough. Even if you’re feeling this way right now. You are doing the best you can. Rest in that.
Hey friend,
You’re not alone in the way you feel. I think a lot of us have been there. And it’s okay. It’s okay to feel like this. But keeping it all in, that’s not gonna help anything. It usually just makes it worse. Your wife probably does realize something is off with you, and I think it would be in your best interest to share what’s going on with you. You guys should be a team. You’ve got your kiddo to take care of, and having healthy parents can only help her. Don’t be alone in your feelings. Reach out to the people who love you and care about you; they’re gonna want to help you. You’re worth feeling better okay? You’re worth being here and you’re worth holding on.
Hey itsjustme,
I share some of your struggles as well, actually. I was raised in a Christian home, my wife knows I struggle, and thinking about it made me feel like crap. At one point, my wife and I sat outside and she basically said “our marriage is in serious trouble”. This was after 5 months of marriage - not something anyone wants to hear! There were days I was nervous about going home to her because I knew I was not feeling “right”. My anxiety came from my desire to be in control. Growing up, I was sheltered and basically not exposed to much that would challenge me. I suspect this is the case in a number of Christian households. When I entered “real life” - aka getting married - things crumbled. That’s when depression set in, because I knew I wasn’t feeling like myself, or the man that my wife knew when we were dating. To make a long story short, what gets me through is several things. First, I realized that I, by myself, was doing a terrible job of getting through the day. I started seeing our marriage counselor one-on-one to work through things. That was one of the best decisions of my life. There’s no shame in getting counseling; in fact, I think it takes a tough guy to admit they don’t have everything together but that they are really committed to changing things. Second, I asked my doctor about medication (after discussing with my counselor). It’s a process, but it’s super helpful. If you feel like that’s cheating (as I did) or something like that, I have a good metaphor I can share. Lastly, do what Nomadic suggested and talk with your wife. She can’t fully support you if she doesn’t know what you’re going through! My wife and I have a much, much stronger marriage due to everything we went through in the first few months. I won’t sugar-coat it - it sucked! But God used it for good, to build us up. You already took a huge step in posting here, that’s fantastic! Have patience, these things take time to work through, but it’s more than worth it!
Your feelings are not stupid, and in fact I’ve felt them before too. I questioned my faith for a long time and I have found my way back to God, once I realized that I could use my struggles to help others. It’s awesome that you have a photography business that makes you happy. I hope you can take some time to take time for yourself and take some pictures this week. I can tell that you are trying your best to be there for your family, even though you are struggling and that is so admirable. When I’m feeling like I want to give up I always listen to my favorite band, journal or talk to one of my friends about . what’s going on in my head. For me working out is always a great escape too. Sending you lots of love. Hold fast.
Friend, I’m proud of you for talking on here and fighting through your depression and anxiety. You don’t feel like you’re winning but there are times in life where you lose as you win.
Find a reason. For me, my favorite band Black Veil Brides has always gotten me through. Hold on and fight for your daughter and your wife. And also, talk to your wife. She probably wants to help you and it will make matters worse if you don’t communicate to her. She can help you.
We all fall down sometimes, and that’s okay.
Just know you are not alone