I really hate my life and everything is going wrong

no matter what i do to try to help myself it always goes wrong and i’m stuck again. i moved to get out of an abusive household but now i’m in a toxic one, it’s not as bad, but i still feel extremely suicidal and stuck. i’m tired of living in places that make me feel worse and i just wish someone could actually help me but they can’t. during my move i have lost a lot of valuables because the stupid usps lost my things in the mail and i can never get it back no matter how many times i try to contact people and they said they will help but they don’t. i’m down almost $300 from lost items (which i can’t get back because you can’t buy them anymore and they held memories in them) and now i’ll be down even more from the moving costs and flying costs of potentially going back. i might not even be able to go back since the transitional living place might not accept me. i have felt suicidal for weeks and i’m so tired of living here. i can’t do this anymore, i’m so tired. i want to just let go and sleep forever. why can’t anyone just help me? like i get that my boyfriend isn’t ready to let anyone move in with him and i don’t blame him, i’m just out of options and i wish someone could help me and actually help me.

i’m not going to be here for much longer, i can’t do it.

Hey @limeytea

Thank you for sharing a part of your story and I honor your bravery. I can’t imagine what living in an abusive household might feel like, but I do know what it is like living with toxic people. It’s really hard.

I wish I could get all of your stuff back because I know what it is like to be in a financial rut. What I can say is that your life matters and you are loved more than you know. You deserve to find hope and healing. You deserve happiness. I urge you to keep fighting. You have made it this far and I believe that you are not alone. You are incredibly strong for everything you have gone through and I know that you can make it past this. This pain you are feeling won’t last forever and your life matters. You truly do make the world a better place and we need you in it.

What does your current support system look like?

i have a boyfriend, a friend, and a therapist but none of them can really help me out of the situation just offer me kind words. i appreciate what they do but i’m tired of never getting any help.

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Yeah, I understand that. When it comes to finances and losing valuable things, it can often feel like you are stuck. I just encourage you to keep moving forward. Eventually, you will recover financially and I you can create new memories with the stuff that you have now. I know that it doesn’t make anything now feel better, but I think in your situation, you can gain a lot if you just hold on to hope.

And when it comes to feeling suicidal, continue to reach out whether it is to your support system or here on HeartSupport. We are here to walk alongside you as you figure this stuff out.

I believe in you. Hold fast

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