So many of you that have been reading my previous posts know the situation that I’m in. There was a girl that I seen him in a video with before he went away. When I asked him about it before he left, he told me that she was just a friend. When he came back into my life, I asked him about it again and he said that they kissed and that’s it. When she was brought up in a conversation a month later he was saying how she kissed him, but he didn’t kiss her back and how he didn’t even like her and all this. So back in November, I almost commited suicide. I started dealing with a lot of mental stuff so I broke up with him because I didn’t think it was fair to him. I made it clear that’s the reason why I was doing that and that I still loved him very much. My counselor told me that I needed to work on myself because of what happened. I keep going to see him and we still act like we’re together because I still love him and want to be with him. We keep telling each other how much we love each other and we keep showing each other affection. So I went to go see him on the 13th, (a week after I got out of crisis). We were kissing and telling each other that we loved each other. When I was leaving he kissed me again and told me how much he loved me and that if I wanted to see him to text his mom. I said of course I’m going to come see you. Then on the 15th, I sent him a message that said “Hope your day is going well. Miss you and love you so much.” He seen it and liked it. Then I go and see that he liked that girl’s picture on Instagram from July, but it was never liked by him before. I didn’t think too much into it because it was just a like. So on the 18th, I texted his mom that morning and told her to tell him I was coming on the 20th. Then I called the place he is at because he said if I ever needed to get in contact with him, I could call the place and they could relate a message to him so he could use one of his phone calls to call me. The guy was like oh this is his girlfriend that comes to visit every week right? I’ll let him know to get in contact with you. I go on Instagram right after I get off the phone and the girl that I seen him in the video with posts on her profile a BUNCH of videos of him from when he graduated and was like “more than proud of you:heart:️” and then posted the same video of them together that I seen when he was home and she was like “with a broken heart ” then posts on her story a picture of her phone “best 15 minutes! ️ waiting on him to come home! ” then posts a picture of a letter and goes “first one! ️” so I was waiting all Tuesday for him to call me. Then she posts a video of her on the phone with these emojis that have hearts all over them. And he never called me. He used his phone call on that girl instead. I ended up having a really bad anxiety attack and was crying so hard and felt like I was going to pass out. Then I get a text from his mom the next day saying that he put me on the list to go see him. I went to go see him the next day and he’s kissing me and everything and we’re acting like we’re together and he asks me if I’m going to keep seeing him and I was like “idk” and he was like “why?” And I was like “because you have a girlfriend…” he was like “what are you even talking about?” I was like “you know exactly what I’m talking about. I’m not stupid I seen it. The girl from the video I seen before you went away?” He was like “okay. Me and her are just friends.” I was like “you’ve been calling her.” He was like “I can’t call and talk to a friend?” I was like “not her.” He was like “you told me that me and you are friends. You told me that your parents didn’t want us together so I thought we weren’t going to talk anymore so I called my friend.” I was like “YEAH. A girl that kissed you before you went away when we were still together like come on! Plus she doesn’t seem to think that you two are “just friends”. He was like “what do you mean?” I was like “she’s been posting stuff all over Instagram about you two! She really thinks you two are together.” He was like “she thinks we’re together?” I was like “yes like wtf” He was like “would you rather me call you instead of her?” Then he says “I love you. I still love you so much. I really keep hoping that you’ll take me back so we can work things out.” I was like “of course I do. I’m just going through a lot of mental.” He was holding me really tight kept kissing me, but I was just so upset. Then he calls me on Christmas Eve and he says “clearly you were upset about the whole situation about me talking to my friend on the phone so let’s talk about it.” He was like you have to make a decision whether you want to work on things or if we’re done done. I was like you can’t rush me because that’s not fair. You know I love you. He was like I’m not…but like you were upset about me talking to my friend so. Then he said he had no idea she posted things like that and didn’t know what she posted and how he had his friend check and he said he didn’t see anything on her snap because he has her on snap. I was like “it was on her Instagram.” He was like “I really don’t know why she thinks we’re together because we’re not.” I was like “CLEARLY YOU GAVE HER A REASON TO THINK YA’LL ARE TOGETHER. She’s the girl that kissed you before you left. Why did she think she could be that cozy to kiss you when you were home and we were still together. That’s the same reason why she thinks you two are together.” He said “after I get off the phone with you, I’m clearing that stuff up with her because I don’t know why she’s posting stuff like we’re together because we’re not.” Then I go on Instagram the next day, and she posts a meme on her story that says “I shouldn’t even be jealous, you’re not even mine.” I don’t even know how to feel or what to think anymore.
I am not giving you advice straight up. I can’t tell if he’s being honest with you or if he’s playing the field. I do know this: 1) He’s on his guard since you notify him. 2) This girl is your competition.
Only you can decide if you want to be his girl or if you can’t trust him now. Only you know that if you don’t give this relationship a try that you’ll regret it only a little or regret it fully.
So this is your decision. Just keep yourself safe mentally & physically. Don’t put blinders. Do what you feel is best only for you. Remember everything you posted Yet also remember:
You said this to him and about him. A hard decision to be made for sure. I wish you the best choice for you.
I can’t tell if he’s being honest or not either. I asked God to reveal a sign to me to show me that he hasn’t changed. Everyone else around me in my life doesn’t like him and thinks I deserve better because of how he’s treated me in the past and because they don’t think he’s changed. So that’s why I asked God to show me something and then I ended up seeing all of those posts. I keep asking God to reveal to me that he’s lying because I don’t know what to do anymore. When I told my counselor the story, she thinks he hasn’t changed because I told her about the posts the girl put. Everyone is telling me to cut him off, but I can’t seem to. @MentallyillGamer