I relapsed and now I feel worse

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I relapsed with self harm today and I feel terrible. I was going so well and I don’t even know why I did it. I just miss doing it I guess. I have to go to a doctors appointment on Tuesday because I have a mole that looks bad and I’m really scared it might be cancerous. I’m also freaking out because I’m going to have to explain that I self harmed and the doctor is going to see it and I have heaps of scars on my legs and arms. So now I feel more guilty and embarrassed. I don’t know what to do. I can’t reschedule the appointment because I’m worried if I don’t go now I’ll stress more.

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Hi friend, I want to say that even though today was rough, I am still proud of you for however long you made it before today. Those days still count for something, and even though today wasn’t a good day, I know you can have more good days in the future. That being said, I think you should go to your doctors appointment. I was in a similar situation and found out a mole I had was cancerous, so even though going will be scary and emotional for you, it could be very worth it to know if the mole is safe or not, and catching it earlier is always better.

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Thank you so much for this :heart::heart: It really made me feel a whole lot better

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You’re welcome! I hope it goes well and I’m glad you’re feeling better!

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@GrungeGirl -

I have been in your shoes. It’s been just over 3 months since I last relapsed with self harm, and the only thing I could say to the ER staff was that I felt so stupid for allowing it to happen. But you know what? We’re human. In our journey of recovery and healing, relapses happen. They do not define you and they do not change your value. Healing is not linear. I do have to agree with @Thesunwillrise - go to your appointment. I know the embarrassment will be there, and I wish I could help you with that - but your health is also important and you should not put this off.

Keep us updated, hun. And let us know if you need anything.

<3 Tara

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