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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Daddy By Korn
I remember hearing this song in about 96. I was a drummer and was practicing alongside the album and it came on as the secret song at the end of the album. It broke me horribly. I had been abused by my older half brother. It started when I was 2 and he was 10 and didn’t stop until he got caught when he was 18 and I was 10. This song is haunting, but it needed to be said and I am so glad that they all had the stones to put this out there to help a messed up teenager like me. I have been in therapy for nearly 10 years. It makes me sad to realize that I have had to dedicate so much of myself to fixing this. I wish these things just wash away, but that has not been my experience. God helps, but things that hurt you to your soul are difficult to get free of.
Thank you for opening up, it takes a lot of courage to do so. I’m so deeply sorry that you can relate to this song, it’s a very emotional piece. It’s easy to feel guilty over something we didn’t have control over, or feel ashamed of our past, we feel haunted sometimes. I wish I could express what music has done for me in my life. I’ve found my purpose, and where I belong through metal. If I could encourage anything, it would be to hold strong to that passion and love for metal. I have experienced so much love through the connection of music. There are so many people out there, and everyone has their arms open with love to share. Above all else, God will be there for you despite it all. You are not defined by your past. You are not alone, so many people love you. Keep pressing forward my friend
My heart breaks to hear your childhood was marred in this way–no child should have their innocence stripped from them, especially from ones we are supposed to be able to rely on and trust like family.
My brother was abused by a close family friend for several years, and this was discovered it was very painful to see him struggle during his teenage years to work through feelings of confusion and brokenness.
I’m so glad that you have found some help form God, and I hope and pray you continue to lean into Him to find your identity and purpose in life. I’m reminded of the story of Joseph Genesis 50:20 “What you intended for evil the Lord used for good…” Your testimony could give you a gateway to relate to other victims of abuse in ways that others never could!
I don’t say this lightly–I’m praying for your continued healing right now.
Thank you for being so vulnerable with us, I’m so sorry you had to endure such an awful thing for such a long time. I’m so proud of you for going into therapy and working towards processing such a tough issue to deal with. I completely understand how frustrating it can be feeling like you have to put so much effort into your mental health, I completely understand the hurt. One thing I tell myself when I get into such a spiral is that I’m not just “fixing” myself, but I’m growing. Although it might’ve taken you 10 years to get to this better mindset, whether or not you put that time towards yourself, the 10 years pass regardless. Growth is not linear, and progress is immeasurably more vital than time.
I’m so glad to hear that God has been helping you. To know that we are chosen, washed clean, and loved more than we could ever comprehend has changed quite literally everything for me. I pray that He will continue to guide and console you every step of the way in your journey. Your future is so, so, bright. Sending so much love your way, you are not alone <3
