This is a topic from YOUTUBE. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on YouTube.
Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to THE POT by TOOL
I said some things last night to my ex-wife last night. The unit before easter sunday. It didn’t help that I’ve been off. My meds for over a week due to the pharmacy and an Inability to get there without a car. My home flooded due to negligence by my landlord. 3 months ago, all my furniture had to be removed and I live on the cement foundation except for my bed, my T. V and my cat I thought I’d been Dealing with it, but I know for sure. I’ve been spiraling out over the last few days. Especially the following is something I sent her today as well as 2 a few other choice. People that are supposed to be close to me I’m 57 and even though I live within a few miles of my 3 children. I can’t get any of them to spend even a small amount of time with me like I said. I sent this today , I Have Have arthritis in my hands and I used the voice to Text. I am sorry that there are likely a number of phonetic misspelling. If you will, I’m sure at least you will get the idea. Do you choose of people around me? Finding me unique and are changing only to frustrate them and even cause some sort of fear. Or
Hate me and then ultimately. Betray and leave me is a repeating story. Since my mother left me at age 3. My stepmonster beat me daily. I suffer permanent nerve damage in my lakes for how much she beat me.
And yet To have a Roof overhead, my father.
Horrifically look the other way I never seemed to intervene. I’ve lost all my high school friends frankly. I don’t have any friends at this point.
I really don’t leave my room at all. I’ve been less interested in television. Which was something that really ultimately raised me as a child and provided sound in the middle of the night to keep me from being lonely as well. As to emulate and. Fantasize about the perfect families from leave it to beaver.
To my 3 sons, the Brady budge and so on. Father’s Day, Mother’s Day. They mean nothing to me. I don’t know what it is to feel a hug. Or a complement from parents frankly, I’ve never even felt their skin. I’ve never felt them to hug me or support me. When other people experience, those things are makes such comments about their lives. I can only imagine an extrapolate from what I see on television. So this is what I wrote. I’ll just copy and Paste iti’m sure it won’t Be perfectly coherent, but then again. My life is such right now. A breaking down carousel in my mind Spinning faster and faster. It’s bearing’s starting to make burning smells. Shirley, this thing is going to.
Fly off at center sooner than later.
This is a song that struck me playing music in the back ground You could make up such a story by h So happens to be Easter Sunday as well doing the math.
I got into it with my ex-wife in a way that I’m worried. It’s the last time we’ll communicate.
But anyways. It’s not a new song to me, I bought the album the week it came out. It’s from Tool and I own all of their albums. The song is called the pot and if you know anything about the band Tool the lyrics are genius and very Visual and meaningful. The album is called 10,000 Days. I will merely paste the meaning of that amount of time for the lead singer Lyricist and founder of tool Maynard James Keenan.
Judith Marie Keenan was a devote Baptist who suffered a paralysing cerebral haemorrhage when Maynard was just 11-years-old. Judith would remain paralysed for 27 years until her death in 2003, and the amount of time Judith spent paralysed would inspire the title track to Tool’s fourth studio album, 10,000 Days.
Everyone can interpret tool songs. In fact the name of the band Tool is explained by Maynard to be a tool for mankind a tool for you to use to manage your life to give it meaning to explain those things you can’t possibly understand. Is awesome to be a wicked insult to those who don’t understand them or those who are on a higher plane or pursuing a unique existence and take on all that the universe is. To you. So, if after pointing your finger for so long you suddenly realize you are the tool, perhaps you may find meaning and Direction and correction by using the tool.
As far as I can ever recall people seem to know what I am supposed to be and what I should be doing and what is wrong with me and how to fix it. I see it in them constantly and progressively interest fascination frustration alienation. They think they can help me they think they can change me and when they can’t they ultimately find ways to hate me and erase me. Even with an explanation I give you from my own heart and every moment of existence most can’t even hear it those words I can spend their time taking out how I can fix those feelings. The day I heard this song from the first time I fell to tears. Maynard it’s a gay man and a macho industry. Yet he exists on another scale. He exists in another wavelength that smiles and looks down on those Neanderthals who think they are better than him. You can’t even realize how far removed they are from his Brilliance and genius. I don’t say that is what I am but perhaps through consistent repetition of actions does it take long for me to see the same Story play out to those that intersect my life. Today has special meaning in so many ways unfortunately most of them are not things that I can celebrate. I put my hands in Jesus who has managed to rise above those that hated him. He had to be literally crucified to free himself from the evil that wanted to erase him and his ways and his beliefs and his influence on those that were willing to be open to something new or different. Maybe, something better. You can’t ever find out unless you at least give it a chance. Or you can just wave your finger and throw stones and smash that person, that experience, that influence and toss it to the mud and trample convince that you’re in the right, you are better, you have all the answers, it is just unfortunate that Michael can’t follow instead of trying to lead. I’m not trying to say anything specific or overtly harsh to anyone. Just trying to tell you how I feel most of the time especially after the last few months. Or is it years. When an experience drones on and on without change it becomes impossible to calculate the time that has passed because nothing is different than the first day to the last. More so than ever I feel closer to the end than the beginning. Is much more than mere calculation of average human existence. It is personal experiences, personal health. People in and out of my life. I suppose instead of trying to capture a list, it’s easier to say that almost everything around me shouts louder and louder that the time is short.