This is a topic from INSTAGRAM. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on Instagram.
Belongs to: HeartSupport_Fans Content #2564
I struggle with depression and the loss of my childhood.
Living in a broken home i had two very different lives growing up. I was always scared as a child. Thinking someone was going to hurt me and my family.
Now at 32 im dealin with ptsd from the trauma and things ive seen and felt.
Im tryin to deal with not being okay all the time. Music is truly the only thing that has kept me alive.
@brad_dad91
As you navigate the effects of trauma, it is so important to keep in mind - as you said so very well - that it’s okay to not be okay all the time. There are things that still need to be felt, processed, and have been waiting for a while in silence to be acknowledged. It’s okay to be patient with yourself and welcome things as they are. It’s also to be mad at the injustice that took place in your past. You are being very brave for coming to this level of awareness regarding your own childhood, and putting words on it to describe how it feels today. I know that just to come to this point, you have survived a lot and have overcome times when it was hard to keep moving on. You are on your path towards healing these scars that were left by others, and giving yourself the love you have always deserved to receive. You are reconnecting with this hurt inner child that needs to be nurtured as much as possible. I’m proud of you for all the steps you’ve taken so far, and all the ones that have yet to come. What happened to you as a child may impact you a lot even in the present, but it will never condition your future, or define who you are, or even less your worth.
So thankful you are here with us today. Keep moving towards more love and care to yourself. You deserve all the best. (2/2)
@brad_dad91 Yes, grieving for the childhood that could - or should - have been, is a type of pain that cuts deeply. When you are little and in the midst of chaos,you only try your best to survive and make it through what sometimes feels like the only sense of normality you could ever have. But as you grow up you develop new experiences and come to realize that no, it was not normal to be afraid all the time because of the environment you were in. There are other ways to grow, other ways to love and be loved - ones that don’t hurt the way it did in the past.
My heart goes out to you friend, as you navigate this very special type of grief. I also grew up in a broken home, and still at 30 processing and dealing with the effects of it. The impact it has to know fear at such a young age is so real, so present, yet so difficult to describe to others. Sometimes it feels like it’s never going to stop, that I’m condemned to mourn what could have been over and over. There’s often something that will remind me of what I lost without knowing it, and seeking a kind of love that has been missing during a fundamental time of my life. Over time, and with the right support, we get to learn to re-parent ourselves and fulfill the needs that were ignored. But it surely is a work of patience at times while there are so many emotions that this type of trauma creates within. (1/2)
@heartsupport you quite literally describedy experience so perfectly. Thank you for the support.
I will keep workin on healing that part of me. Thanks everyone
