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I struggle with this a lot because part of my past trauma includes people not being kind to me when I’ve been hurting and needing someone to hold space for me. Also, being of Asian cultural descent, I was taught to stuff down my feelings and never express them… that if I did I was being selfish. After a lifetime of repeated trauma and conditioning that reinforces the idea that I am “too much” it is still difficult to unwind that.
Hey friend, thank you so much for sharing this. Really. It’s truly inspiring to see how you manage to put into words a lot of experiences and emotions that are, by definition, higly complex. No, it’s definitely not easy to unlearn what we were taught – could it be through our education, our culture but also because of traumatic experiences. When people mistreated you it becomes incredibly difficult to allow yourself to take up space, to share your voice. Being seen, being heard, means that there is potential to be harmed again. And after all, these past experiences tend to make us conclude that we are just too much because we exist. It is one of the hardest lies I have to deal with, just like you – my heart goes out to you. It is absolutely unfair to feel like we’re too much because of how others behavior. Through plenty of small steps though, and by relearning to invest spaces where we feel safe, it is possible to let go of these heavy burdens, one by one. You never deserved to be treated in ways that were unkind. You are never too much, never a burden for sharing your voice. Actually, by doing what you’ve done here and opening up, you bring inspiration and encouragement around you, to all of the people who may read your comment and relate in some way to your own words. Thank you for investing this space today. Thank you for being here, being present, and inviting us to know you a little bit more. You are loved. <3
Friend, I am so sorry for all of your trauma and for the fact that you felt that you were unable to ever talk about it or how you felt. I am really proud how you have managed to go from being taught and believing such things to now finding the courage and belief to come here and say that, Yes, some things did happen, they have left me feeling a certain way and I want to talk about it and I can.
I am sure this has and still is a difficult journey and I hope you have help with that? we are also here if you need extra support friend. You can post on the wall anytime you like and there are always people here who will encourage and support your journey. I think you are incredible.
This is how you find us https://forum.heartsupport.com/ Best of luck
When we are constantly told to hold in our feelings it’s so hard to break free from that. It almost feels like we are doing something wrong. Reframing the mind takes time, but I’m proud of you for being here and for sharing this.