So today felt okay. School started off well until 4th period I had to read something in class and i read the whole sentence really wonky. Im dyslexic, no clue how that managed to happen because i usually can catch when I do write things incorrectly after proof reading it. Reading hasn’t been to much of a problem but it was today and it was probably the most embarrassing thing ever. I literally can’t get myself to talk right now and In 5th period i had to leave because if i stayed i would have broke down in the class. I don’t want to talk to anyone anymore and I feel myself shutting down. Even posting this is something I’m hesitant to do, it’s already my 5th post and I’m sure theres a ton of other people on here who are more important than me. I also tried to see a counselor but, they were with someone so i stayed in the bandroom till school ended. I have such an ache in my chest though and I’ve been nauseous for days I only assume my emotional pain taking physical form. I feel so scatterbrained and messy. I haven’t been able to even focus on school in months. It sucks that one little mess up triggered all the negativity i feel towards myself. I don’t know how much longer I can hold up though. Nothing is improving.
I’m sorry you didn’t had a good day. I am not dyslexic, so I cannot relate to you. You are important equally as this community. You will overcome this trials. You must believe in yourself. You are a strong person.
Sorry to hear about your day but it’s awesome you decided to post this. I think the fact your sharing this is proof that your working on stuff. I know what you mean about the emotional aspect of things becoming physical stuff. I have that a lot, if it’s helpful to hear getting outside for a walk or something for exercise has helped me. Also in case this is helpful when feel things emotionally adding up up and anxiety getting bad I put something cold on the back of my neck. A therapist told me about it and as odd as it sounds it works. I don’t think anyone on here is more important then you and what your going through, we’re all going through stuff but all here for each other.
My friend… this could not be farther from the truth. You are as important as anyone else here, or anywhere. Please know that.
This is a tough situation, and I’m really sorry you had to deal with that. I am glad, though, that you are already figuring out what might be going on.
That’s totally okay. It does suck in that it must be difficult for you, but it doesn’t mean you’re crazy or helpless or anything. It just means you’re one step closer to moving past it, because you’re realizing the source of the issue. I know you tried visiting the counselor at your school, but I’d suggest emailing them or calling or something to set up an appointment so you can have a for-sure time to meet them when no one else is there. That was a great idea to try to see them—everyone could use counseling—but please don’t give up on it just because of that situation. Counseling could really help relieve those negative things you feel toward yourself.
Hope that helps a bit. This is hard stuff and don’t let anyone tell you that your problems are not worth time or effort in giving care to. You are unique and special and important to the world, no matter what anyone says. You’ll get through this, I believe in you. <3