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I suffer from debilitating pain in my shoulder, 5 shoulder surgeries and they still can’t fix it, I completely feel the damaged beyond repair.
My goodness, friend. Five shoulder surgeries is such a high number - I’m really sorry you’ve been going through this. It must have been absolutely exhausting so far to have these repeated surgeries, and on top of it to not see yet the results you would have expected. It’s like somehow you are forced over and over to make concessions, gather all of this strength and perseverance for the perspective of relief and hope for healing… but then this hope gets crushed by an unfair reality. I can only imagine how tiring this must be for you. It makes sense to feel the way you do, and it’s understandable to have a hard time when positive perspectives for the future seem to be constantly challenged like this. I’m wholeheartedly rooting for you and wish so much for you to receive some good news and find closure with what must feel right now like a neverending chapter. 