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I think I'm in trouble

Hello, I’m new here so I dunno, maybe I should just put it out there. I feel bad complaining about my problems or fishing for sympathy, but I think I need help. Something is definitely wrong with me, physically. I think I have an hernia, infection, or a cancer. I’m in my late thirties and for the first time am actually seeing a doctor. (not so much seeing as talking on the phone) I left a five year relationship a couple of months ago that just couldn’t make it. We are still friends now, but when we were together they were very jealous and it put a huge strain on friendships and relationships with others that weren’t there anymore after we broke up. I am so alone and I am in pain. I am missing work, now, which I have never done. I am drinking too much, and I am scared. I can’t go to the gym, there is no social anything available because reasons, and my only friend that I see in person anymore is my dog who is very old. I think when he dies I might snap. The future is looking bleak and I usually have a morbid sense of humor about things like this but I might be done. I’m sorry for the rant.

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Dude I’m with you. Lost my marriage and then both my cats who I loved immensely in the span of a couple years. Drinking way too much. All I can really offer for advice is don’t sell yourself short when it comes to being your own friend. It’s not a permanent solution, but you can rely on yourself for support. Who knows, you might even start to like yourself. I’d be lost without my sense of humor. We all want/need others but we also need to acknowledge ourselves as the first level of love and support. Don’t discount your own ability to love and listen and understand.

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Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m very sorry for your marriage and your pets. I really don’t know what I would do without mine. I feel like if I could just get over my health problem and the constant pain I could get back in the right direction. I’m afraid that they might not be able to solve it and I’ll be stuck to cope

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Hey @Nunya,

No need to apologize, you are free to share your thoughts and how you feel here. This is what this place is all about. :wink:

There’s a lot going on right now and it really makes sense to feel stressed. Regarding your physical pain and health, I’d like to encourage you to reach out to a doctor and take the steps that are needed to have a medical follow-up. (Sorry I see that you mentioned a doctor, but I don’t know if you mean a regular doctor or a mental health professional). I’ve been myself through stressful events and diagnosis regarding my health this year, but reaching out and making sure that I was receiving proper help was the best thing I could have done. The stress will still be present, but at least you’ll know that you’re doing the right thing. It will give you a sense of control over things that might be a bit scary at first.

I’d also like to encourage you to try to get rid of alcohol and reach out to a support group or a therapist - if that’s not the case already. It might be a way to cope that feels somehow comforting and safe but you don’t deserve to hide in silence and struggle with that. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You have the right to reach out, to ask for help, just like you did here very bravely. Unfortunately, no one here can take those steps for you. It has to be your decision, but this community will support you through those. You won’t be alone friend.

there is no social anything available because reasons, and my only friend that I see in person anymore is my dog who is very old.

This has been taking a toll on a lot of us because of covid and lockdowns. When you add other struggles - because life just keeps going on - it makes really sense to feel hopeless. I know it’s not the same, but we’re still lucky to have the possibility to connect to others online. I’d like to invite you to join our Discord if you didn’t already : https://discord.gg/heartsupport and come stop by during the HeartSupport stream twitch.tv/heartsupporthttps://heartsupport.simvoly.com/ (streaming schedule). It would be awesome to see you there! A good moment to connect to others and relax in good company. I didn’t socialize a lot either this year. I live in a country where I didn’t have real opportunities to create new friendships prior to covid and I don’t work anymore - while my social circle was mostly my ex coworkers. Though feeling connected to online communities has been truly helping. Like a needed crutch. I hope this could be the same for you. <3

Keep us up to speed on what’s going on for you. You are loved, friend. You’re not alone. Hold fast.

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