My brother and I are both adopted from China and have been struggling with being accepted by our peers our whole lives. We had a hard time making friends in school once covid hit because no one would approach us because “Chinese people started the corona virus” and a few years ago after covid hit, I noticed that my nana and her boyfriend would avoid my brother and I at family gatherings, give us weird looks, and just generally show a sort of dislike of us both. She has always favored my cousins over us in subtle ways because they are blood related. She gives them more gifts, spends more on them and generally shows them more love and affection. It also doesn’t really help that my cousins are also white and my nanas blood relatives. My parents have raised me to never forget where I am from and that I will always be a part of China as it is a part of me and I have always followed Chinese customs and have been learning Chinese for a few years ago. If I ever speak in Chinese around my nana and her boyfriend, they will judge me and say something like, “Don’t speak in Chinese, you’re in America not China stop being so Asian” I try not to let it get to me but it really hurts because they are some of the only family I know and lately they haven’t even tried to hide their obvious dislike of me. I went down with my family to visit them in Florida this spring and during dinner they didn’t even bother setting out a plate for me. When I asked them about it they told me to suck it up and not expect special treatment from them just because I am Chinese. And I had over heard my nana talking about how she wished I didn’t come visit them because she wished a ching chong like myself wasn’t her granddaughter. I don’t know am I over thinking things and looking to much into it?
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Hi there-- I’m sorry you are experiencing this with your family. I put together a short video to offer my thoughts and support. I think my nana and her boyfriend are racist? -- Response | Loom
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