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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Falling Away From Me By KORN
I thought about suicide as a teenager, then I realized I was here to piss the world off
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This sentence really intrigues me- this sounds like it could be a Korn lyric! First off, I just want to say that I’m so glad you never went through with your suicidal thoughts. I want to let you know that you’re not a bad person for contemplating suicide. Everyone faces dark moments, and those can often feel so overwhelming to the point of wanting to utterly relinquish control. I am so glad that you kept control and made the choice to still be here.
I’d love to talk more about your perceived purpose in life. It is so interesting to feel like you were born to play the heel. Born to play the part that the good guy fights against. Born to piss the world off. When we feel like an outsider or a victim, it can be easier to reframe our desires to be the villain, to be the bad guy, and to be the outsider. It’s easier to embrace the role we feel forced into rather than adapt into societal pressures, ideals, or “norms”. I’ve felt this exact feeling. When I’ve felt isolated and pushed into the background, I’ve wanted to embrace isolation, to become the one who rides on the outskirts, and own that as my identity. But I’ve realized that society cannot isolate me for what makes me unique. I am not advocating for anyone to strive to blend in with society as your purpose, but I am saying that society cannot successfully use your one-of-a-kind nature to put you down. You were created fearfully and wonderfully. There is so much power in being counterculture and against the grain, and I encourage you to embrace that! You were created to stand out, to make a change, and to inspire the world to be a better place. Use your power and position to create a change for the good. That is what is truly counterculture. You are here to be YOU. No one else can do that, and no one else can take that opportunity from you. Show the world how unapologetically YOU you are. That’s your mark, and that’s your power.
We will always be here for you if you’d like to open up more. I appreciate your openness and honesty and I hope we can continue to talk more. You are so loved.
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I’m sorry to hear that you’ve struggled with suicide in your past. That feeling of hopelessness is such a heavy weight to carry. I’m so proud of you and so grateful that you’re still here with us today.
By being angry at the world, we often find ourselves feeling a sense of displacement and isolation. We are more than just our hate and resentment. I find that at times I get in moods where I want nothing but to lock myself in my room and never open the door again. People and life can be draining, it definitely isn’t always full of positives.
It isn’t just you against the world, you are never truly alone. I know that there are people out there who love you, some of which you probably haven’t even met yet. You are not alone in any of your anger, this is a valid and normal emotion that deserves to be processed and felt to the fullest extent. There are so many more feelings for you to feel aside for anger. As much as you may hate the world, the world does not hate you. There are people, things, experiences, and so much more of life that will refresh you and bring you peace like never before.
Your purpose is so much more than pissing off the world. I find that journaling and self-reflecting has drastically helped me feel full and have a sense of purpose in this world. You belong here, and you deserve to be happy here. I would love to keep talking with you about these emotions and continue supporting you however you would like.
If you need to talk further, I implore you to reach out to HeartSupport. You are an amazing person and I know you will find so much passion and fulfillment in this life <3
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Hi friend, thanks so much for reaching out! I’m genuinely so glad that your attempt at suicide fell through. I am so deeply convinced that every single person was created by God for a purpose, and you are no exception! Maybe there was some kind of hurt in your past or perhaps you have believed a lie that your existence irritates or annoys people, but you are loved by God so much more than you could ever fathom, and he has a plans to prosper you and give you a hope and a future!
I’m very glad that you shared–sharing with people you can trust and who care for you brings so much relief.
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