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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Schism by Tool
I tried to get my now X wife to listen to this so she might understand my frustration in our relationship but she refused to even try. She said it was a stupid song. She told me on a Thanksgiving Day during an argument that IF she had not gotten pregnant with our 1st born that she had one foot out the door already. That comment broke me as it was intended to do.
That sounds unfortunate of your wife doesn’t want to listen the song. I don’t understand how can you hate song if you didn’t hear it. You can judge a song after listening it. Listening song does help people bond together. I can understand why people avoid certain songs because it makes them feel emotional or past trauma. However, there are songs that help you understand your emotions.
Relationships are not always perfect. Your wife doesn’t want to admit her faults in the relationship. That’s she refused to listen the song that you wanted to share to listen. I’m just confused from your post. Did you share the song during Thanksgiving Day? That’s horrible for your wife to say something inappropriate. Also, I hope your wife didn’t yell at you in public front of your family & friends. I would be embarrassed in that situation. Why would your wife would be upset with your first born? Did you say something to your wife that might trigger her? Angry can be expressed in multiple reasons like stress, depress, shame, guilty, and etc. I would be frustrated in your situation if she told me that. Your wife shouldn’t even mention children in an argument. Children doesn’t got to do with why are you arguing with your wife in the first place.
Your wife should apologized for saying something mean to you. She will notice that your marriage might going end in bad terms. I hope you stay strong! No one deserved to be treated with disrespect.
@@HeartSupport yes i Understand you ,ay not understand me because of a cultural difference and think if talking face to face or online voicing we could clarify a few things. I enjoy what we have here i text yet would enjoy a better way to converse ,.
Wow. That is indeed a very brutal thing to be told. Between the lines, it’s like saying that they didn’t want to be with you. That they had to follow some kind of obligation to stay, for the sake of your child and family. Man, it’s so hard when it feels like your significant other and you are just not on the same page anymore, even more when there is no healing communication to work on the struggles at play. It sounds like on your end you are trying to make attempts at communicating more openly, maybe with more vulnerability too. It’s really unfortunate that it’s only met with refusal and somehow rejection. You try to create a bridge that could help you both to meet each other differently, but at the same time it feels like the communication is completely closed on her end, like facing a wall that can’t be moved. I imagine the frustration and heartbreak, maybe even grief, that this situation must have created in you. When you are in a relationship with someone, you can’t imagine how it’s going to evolve in the long run, but you certainly don’t want to face that kind of dissonance. I’m sorry, friend. Hopefully communication will be restored at some point - at least, that’s everything I wish for the both of you. It sounds like you both need healing and partnership in the midst of this situation, and you certainly deserve to feel like your relationship is elevating you, not the opposite.
She told me on a Thanksgiving Day during an argument that IF she had not gotten pregnant with our 1st born that she had one foot out the door already. 
That comment broke me as it was intended to do.