I value friends more then my own life

hai, I hope you’re feeling well. Tysm for reading this. it means a lot! I’ve been through a lot recently, going to a new school and stuff like that. I’ve always had a stuggle making friends, idk how some people do it so easily lol. I wish I was like those people every day I live, the envy consumes my brain. I cant really do much Abt it tho. I just have a forgettable personality, a forgettable face, a forgettable everything.
I notice I get left out of everything, mainly projects. ik I could solve this problem by asking people to be in my group, but I don’t have the motivation to… I feel like if they wanna be in my group, they would ask me. Which isn’t totally untrue. I’ve been caring less and less about everything. it feels like i’m zoning out constantly. i’m bored and tired. i just want a friend to hang out with, but my trauma make me scared of people, 3 times my friends have stabbed me in the back. I don’t even know what makes a friend lol.
life has truly been smth lately. I still don’t know if i’ll make any friends at this new school… it’s been 3 months already… i’m still shy af. really anything can happen. I hope someone will come into my life that I can be myself around.it’s been so hard to connect with people at my school, altho I can connect online with ease. life is hard… i’m hoping I can be able to figure this problem I’ve had for a while out.
ty for reading! bye <2

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Hello @C_Urchin

I could very much relate to what you said there, making and maintaining friendships has been and still is a challenge to me. However, recently i’ve been learning about these difficulties from an Autistic/ADHD/Neurodivergant point of view and the struggles that they experience with the same topic. I’ve found it personally reassuring to know there are others out there (more than you think) that also have the same difficulties.

You mentioned that you’ve been stabbed in the back 3 times, sadly its just one of those things, yes it hurts but don’t give up hope, try to take whatever lessons you can from those experiences and keep trying.

I hope you find something here that helps.

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Hi @C_Urchin

Thank you for reaching out and being so open. Relationships with people are some of the hardest things in life to navigate, I totally feel this. Being new can make things all the more challenging, but with time you will find your people. I have had a similar thought process of feeling different than the rest of my peers and wishing I could change myself to fit in. Truth is, leaning into being yourself and doing activities that you love is the best thing you can do. In time your people will come.

Sending love,
Maggie

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Hi @C_Urchin
Relationships can be weird sometimes and they can be even harder once you move to different schools. It takes time to get used to new places and environments. But what is incredible about you is that you are unique and your own person. I hope you can bring a certain light that will attract others in unlikely places. Sometimes a shared interest will catch someone’s eye. You seem like such a sweet person and I think that the right people will come to you. You deserve friends who respect you and show you compassion but are also honest with you. Sending you love!
-Daniela

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