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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Alice in Chains Nutshell
I’ve been on the horse for so long I don’t know anything else
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What a draining ride it can be. We get locked in to our daily processes, behaviors, or thoughts, and we don’t know how to break the feedback loop. Every day begins to feel like a loop and we don’t know how to break out. We’ve been riding this horse so long that we can’t imagine what our life would look like if we stepped off. Like an abusive relationship, we stay in because the known pain seems better than the possible pain of the unknown.
I don’t know what your horse looks like (though I would love to talk more and get deeper with you), but I want you to know that you are bigger than it. You are greater than whatever seems to be holding you down. Your life was meant for more than monotony and struggle. You are the one and only version of yourself, and you weren’t created to be strapped on a horse running in the same circle for the rest of your life.
Your life has meaning and value, and though altering your life to chase that can be scary, it is always worth it. You know who you are deep down inside, and you know what your heart tells you. You have the power to break a vicious cycle in your life and get off that horse. You can explore new avenues and find yourself in a new, profound way. It may be painful or scary to jump into that unknown, but it will be worth the journey.
If you would like to talk more, we are here for you. I would love to get deeper and hear more of your story. I’m sure our horses aren’t too different from one another.
I understand how it feels when one way of being is all you know. It feels like there is safety in it even whilst you know it is the thing that is causing you hurt.
One thing thats helped me is visualise looking at myself from a birdseye perspective. To see that the things that are blocking me from what I want and to see that they are causing me pain not removing it.
I may not know what the rest of my life looks like, but I know that not trying is going to be harder.
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