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I want help for my mental health but feel uncomfortable seeing a professional

I’ve been wanting to receive help for my mental health for over 6 months. I was constantly put on waiting lists, being told I just needed to wait a few months but never heard back from any of the clinics I called. Because recently the police was called to my house due to someone tipping them off I might self harm, suddenly I’ve finally gotten the opportunity to talk to a psychologist. But after my incident with the police which I talk about in more detail in this thread (Police tried to "help" me and now I struggle to get out of bed), I’ve felt extremely unmotivated. I still want to talk to a psychologist but when I have spoken with one, I feel unmotivated and uncomfortable talking to them. I don’t want to open up about my mental health anymore. What do I do?

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hi @deprecia ,

first of all, i am very proud of you for recognizing when you need help for your mental health. it breaks my heart to know that you’ve been put on wait lists though… would you be able to get your general practitioner (GP) or main doctor to refer you somewhere? usually that gets quicker results and i hate knowing that you’re over here waiting for help after asking for it so bravely.

i do want to ask though, is this experience of not feeling comfortable and not feeling motivated to share things just towards this one psychologist? or has it been with different psychologists? i only ask because if this one psychologist is making you feel unmotivated to get better, it seems like you can find a better match elsewhere. i want nothing more than for you to have that space to freely share your feelings, emotions, and frustrations, and if this psychologist keeps you from doing so, i only hope you can find someone who can support you better.

sending you my love and best of wishes though as you persevere in this journey of amelioration. i believe in you and admire your strength through it all, my friend.

love,
twix

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From: theladywho (Discord)

Hello deprecia, I just want to start out by saying wow you have been through so much! I can’t imagine how that felt with the police I would have been freaking out! Regarding how you are feeling now, it sounds like you have been seeking help and not getting what you need. Maybe a psychologist is not what you need right now? I know personally I have gone through my GP(regular doctor office) to get an appointment for anxiety/depression and they were able to get me medication that helped. I fully recommend seeing if your GP can help you setup a referral to a therapist or counselling sessions to start out. That way you have some support in finding someone who can accept new patients and you are not doing it all on your own. It’s exhausting sometimes to have to advocate for yourself especially when you are feeling unwell. I know it feels really awkward to setup an appointment with the doctor to discuss it, but remember their job is to help you get better. Sending my love and support your way! <3

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Thank you :slight_smile:
It’s not the problem with the one psychologist. I have been seeing a few. I was referred to a counsellor from the hospital under a short term program, and I’ve been seeing a different one for a slightly more long term program as well. For the one I’ve been seeing in the more long term program, the first time I met her, I was feeling particularly good that day and spoke quite a bit. Since then, I feel like I’ve closed up some more because well I haven’t been feeling as good. Both counsellors/ psychologists I know want to help etc. but it’s hard to open up.

Thank you!
I’ve been seeing a gp quite regularly actually. she’s suggested I could try anti depressants but to be honest I don’t really want to take any meds if I can help it. She’s also referred me onto a counsellor who I’m seeing now. but yeah I guess it’s just hard to open up.

Hi Deprecia,

Thank you for sharing with us a piece of your story. This sounds like quite the predicament. I’m sorry you had a run in with the police over your mental health. That in itself can be traumatizing, scary, and dehumanizing. I am unsure if this has been your experience, but it certainly has been mine. It’s unfair, and unfortunate that the mental health system takes so long in order to see people who need help now. It makes sense to me you feel unmotivated and uncomfortable talking to a psychologist. There is only so much this system can do for you and unfortunately sometimes it takes a long time to receive the care you deserve. It does sound like a tricky predicament. I wonder what can be done as well. I wonder if you know what can be done or if you sense a way forward. Sending you lots of love and positive vibes. Warmly, Dot.

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