I want to go back

I dont know how long I can keep going on, everything hurts and the last time I even felt remotely happy was this time last year
So many great things were happening to me and my friends and I was so happy.

Though i loved it, now whenever I remember it or think about it I feel sick, like the yearning for then is too much, my stomach tightens and I feel nauseas just from wanting to go back.

Maybe if I force myself to think about it enough things will go back to the way they were. Maybe everything will be the same
I wish it was then, I hate now.

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Hey, i feel you.

I wish i could go back to the past because my present looks bleak, i really wish i could advise you properly but im in the exact same position and i have no idea how to deal, one thing i could mention is that you need to try to keep in contact with your friends or make a few more new friends, find people you can trust to share your feelings with. Try to find hobbies to distract yourself from sadness/loneliness.
I wish you the very best.

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I’m sorry the present has been so painful for you, friend. It is really hard when it feels like we are stuck in a chapter of our life that doesn’t feel like home anymore, especially when it feels like circumstances were so much better before. You look back and you feel for all the things you’ve known, the beautiful memories and moments, while longing for the possibility to feel that again. Somehow, life is made of so many different seasons and colors, but knowing this doesn’t always make it easier to accept change when it occurs. When life feels good, when you are surrounded by safe people, when you feel joy in your heart… you would wish for it to last forever.

It’s understandable to feel the way you do. This nostalgia, these warm feelings when thinking about last year and your friends, yet also this hurt because it’s not there anymore. You’ve been changing, growing, evolving, and it’s hard to let go of moments that felt better. Hard to see the time that has passed and walk through what really feels like grief. You loss feels, without a doubt, very profound, and I can personally relate to it. When I think of it, there are times in my life I wish I could go back to. Not just out of nostalgia, but because I felt more whole, more safe, more carefree in general. There’s people that I lost and miss dearly, and this sense of disconnection is heartbreaking to feel.

It’s hard to feel both grateful and sad for a beautiful time that is now gone. Somehow, you’ve had the chance to know such time, and that is a beautiful story to tell, as well as to carry on with you. On the other side, it’s okay to give yourself time to feel all of this and to mourn the things or people you miss. It is part of trying to find closure and to keep on living, so you could open new doors again that would lead you to beautiful moments and beautiful people. A strong element in the things you’ve been feeling lately, is that you know firsthand that a joy like the one you’ve known is possible. That it is not just a distant dream that would be unreachable. It is actually very real, even if some seasons of your life could make you feel like you’re too distant from it.

There is light in this darkness, my friend. There is hope. You will get through this transition and find your ways to build a new chapter again. Without forgetting any part of your story, but by using it like a fuel that will keep pushing you forward. You matter. :heart: