So it seems like something’s being expected of you that you don’t feel you can fulfill.
But those expectations are blocking your path to succeeding at this class.
So it feels like these expectations that you feel are beyond your capabilities, in essence you feel are beyond your control, are going to be what ruins your semester and consequently is ruining your emotional state right now.
You feel powerless, angry at the person who’s holding your feet to the fire over these expectations that feel un-fulfillable by you, and afraid of how the semester is going to end – which ultimately feels like it’ll end in total ruin at this point, so it feels like you’re already feeling the sadness of that pending disappointment.
I can imagine in that spot I’d be a crying mess too. You’re not crazy for feeling that way.
Really the point of friction here is you feel you can’t fulfill your professor’s expectations.
Because if you could fulfill his expectations, you’d get a fine grade, and you’d feel fine too.
The reason you feel you can’t fulfill his expectations is because you’re afraid of people yelling at you or rejecting you if you were to ask them to take their photos.
But I want you to take a closer look at what’s really happening here…read the sentence above…the key part of this whole mess is in the power of one single word: “afraid”. Fear is what’s taking you out here. If you weren’t afraid of people yelling at you or asking to take their picture, you’d just move in closer, take the photos, have enough, and call it a day – this whole mess would be over with!
But right now, fear of rejection is what’s keeping you from fulfilling your professor’s expectations and coming through in this class.
This is really good news, friend. Because fear is conquerable. Moreover, I trust that you don’t want to let fear rule your life. It’s not your professor that’s ruining your life or your class…it’s fear. If you weren’t afraid, you’d fulfill your professor’s expectations just fine! A photography professor isn’t supposed to teach people to take blurry, at-a-distance photos. His job is to teach you to take clear, focused, professional photos, and it’s not unreasonable for him to expect that of you. You’re mis-placing your anger towards him because it’s easier to be mad at him than to face your own fear.
BUT. It doesn’t have to be this way. You can still recover from this! You can still get the photos you need! You can still conquer this fear and win the day.
I like to think of fear as Platform 9 3/4 (from Harry Potter). It appears to be this solid column, and everyone says there’s this magical world on the other side, but to you, right here, with your luggage and trunk on the other side of it, it seems as solid as could be.
But would Harry Potter even be a movie if he didn’t take a leap of faith and push through that platform? The story would be: Harry Potter, the boy who lived on Private Drive his entire life, not Harry Potter, the boy who lived and saved the magical world from the dark lord. Right?! You are the hero in this story, friend. You get to write your own ending! If you face this fear, then you can get the photos and pass the class.
You just have to push your cart through the platform.
One important thing to note: Harry didn’t go through the platform by himself the first time he went. He had friends show him how and be with him as he did it and encourage him through it. If I were you, I’d bring a friend with me so if I ever did get rejected, it wouldn’t hurt as bad because I had someone who still loved me regardless of what happened. Friends give other friends courage! And in this case, some extra courage could help a lot!
You can do this, friend.