I know that everyone around me said that I am inmature and that one of the reasons why people have left me and I have done mistakes because I couldnt know how to act more mature and because of that I have hurt people feeling.
I know that I act like a child sometimes and I know that I have said "sorry " so many times and I still do the same but I want really to change and become more mature…be a better person and a person I can be proud of
Everyday I tried but I dont think that I am improving or anything.
And I have 21 years old, with almost not social skills and being inmature.
Hey friend- I think the fact that you have the desire to grow and mature is a huge and positive thing. So many of us roll around with our problems and don’t even stop to think about what and how we want to improve. I think your just looking at your own behavior and seeing where you might have messed up and apologized to the person/ people is a big step in growing in maturity. All of this type of life experience is a continuum - we never actually get to the end, we just hopefully keep trudging in the right direction! Hang in there - it sounds like you are doing good work even if you don’t see it yourself.
I think it’s courageous of you to want to grow and learn. To improve. maybe something that could help is talk to people that are healthy and good friends and ask them honestly what are some things you could work on. Then listen and try to improve on those things. But talk to those that matter. Those you can trust. people that are healthy and good in your life. People who’s word is genuine. Those are the people that can help and guide you.
What are some things that you feel you need to work on?
What are some things that you feel you could do to work on those things?
What are you doing right now that is helping you with those things?
It’s not an easy thing to admit that you want to improve in some specific areas of your life. It requires some humility to do that. I hope you’re aware of this, because we’re proud of you here.
I already told you that, but you’re a caring person. Really. There’s often a difference between what we want to do and what we actually do (or can). Sometimes we make mistakes as well. But what remains important is what’s in your heart. And you just expressed it very well. It shows who you are.
I personally enjoy reading you, seeing you here. You’ve been showing and sharing tons of love and that’s certainly not the definition of being immature, at least in my book. You are empathic, and you have a lot of maturity on this matter. But I hear your dissatisfaction, your will to improve, to progress towards what is meaningful to you and who you want to be. @anon17277947 asked some very interesting questions that could be a good start to reflect on where you are right now in your life and in regards of where you want to be.
Also, it might just be a feeling - I’m aware that at this point we’re still strangers to each other - but I’ve been feeling that you are very hard on yourself sometimes. To be demanding on yourself can be helpful, but also destructive if it drives you to unrealistic standards. And it’s why identifying what you want precisely (not only vaguely “I want to be a better person”) is important.
Thanks really for your answer, I really appreciated your answer, yeah I know that to know what you done and to say sorry to the person that you have hurt, is very valuable but I am so tired of always know when I have done things wrong and is the same mistake.
Thanks for thinking that I am going in the good way of become mature, because not all the people have say me that.
Thanks for your answer And yeah you are right the best way to improve is to ask the people that know me, but is not the first time that I have tried and that I have asked them, and there are people that tried to help me and how to improve but they have left because of me. So I dont think I could ask other people again,because maybe they dont think I would change.
And really thanks for yours questions, I have already answered in my mind, maybe I would write down the answers in a paper for me to remember.
Thanks really @Micro for your answer, I am glad that even if is one person, that is glad to read me, maybe no one have say me that they were glad or something like that in all my life, so thank you.
With all the things I have done, for me is impossible to thing that someone can think of me as a caring and emphatic, but thank you again, because there are times when I feel like a monster and those words are really healthy and it help.
And I think that because of you guys maybe if is only in here I can feel like a a little mature and that I am learning for how to try to help others.
In really you havent been the only one that have said that maybe I am hard on myself and maybe is right, there are times that I think a lot of what it could have been or what I could done to things go better with the people I meet, that I get very upset at myself.
When I can I would look for the link you have shared, exercise are always welcome
Thanks really, I admire you and all the people in Heartsupport.
With all the things I have done, for me is impossible to thing that someone can think of me as a caring and emphatic, but thank you again, because there are times when I feel like a monster and those words are really healthy and it help.
I know you’ve been mentioning this several times, and you’ve been carrying this guilt for a certain time now. Know that if you ever want to talk about it more precisely at some point, privately, do not hesitate to just send a DM. It’s always a possibility.
Also, this guilt that you have… whether it’s justified or not, is the very first reaction of someone who care about the consequences of their actions, you know. But there will be a moment when you will have to learn from what happened, take the best from it, and move on. Because no one can live with the belief that they’re a monster. Well, they can… but it’s very destructive. And no one here want you to live with this thought.
You’re very thoughtful, willing to reflect on yourself. It’s a very healthy and positive mindset.
Proud of you, seriously.
And yeah you are right the best way to improve is to ask the people that know me, but is not the first time that I have tried and that I have asked them, and there are people that tried to help me and how to improve but they have left because of me. So I dont think I could ask other people again,because maybe they dont think I would change.
