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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Daddy By Korn
I was sexually assaulted by my female babysitter as a seven year old boy. I heard this song for the first time as a 16 year old in 1998. I never told anyone so I don’t know what it was like to not have my parents believe me. I still haven’t told them as I’m worried about the guilt it would cause for my mother.
Hello, thank you for choosing to share with us what you have been through. I think it is very important to find a place to be able to let things like this out. You are strong for doing so. I also had an experience that I was afraid of sharing with my mother for the same reasons. Though she did express emotion and empathy which I believe is natural. She did not express any displeasure with the fact that I shared it with her. She even expressed that she had a slight feeling that something may have happened relating to the incident of that time, and that she was sorry that I went through what I did. It felt like a big relief to finally get it off of my chest to her. I do no regret sharing it with her at all. I think if it is something you feel you need to share, that will bring you relief in sharing it. That you should do so, but if you have already come to terms with it, and sharing it will not bring you any relief. That it is okay to just let it out, in safe places like heart support, or a health professional. In the end that is a personal decision you can make based on what is best for you.
Hi,
I am really sorry that you experienced this, and I want to thank you for being vulnerable with us. It is really difficult to feel like you can’t share with your parents or other people close to you because of how they may react or how it might make them feel. I want you to know that you matter and deserve to be heard. I want to encourage you to do what feels right and comfortable for you. You may be surprised by how relieved you feel after getting it off your chest. I hope that you encounter someone or something today that makes you smile. You are strong and brave. Remember that. We are always here to support you in any way we can. <3
Thank you so much for choosing to share this here, despite all the fears and emotional loneliness that it has put you through. You know, the time it must take for you to talk about it, then to eventually talk about it to specific people in your life, follows a timeline that is yours, and will always be right in itself. It’s okay to doubt, it’s okay to have a hard time reaching out, it’s okay to take the time you need. If anything, right here you’ll only be met with love and compassion - no judgment of any kind.
Your mother, if she knew, would probably feel a sense of guilt and responsibility, but that would not be your fault either. Sometimes, the pain we feel, especially when it stems from the empathy and love we have for someone, is really just that: an expression of love. It’s yet another way to say: I love you, I care about you, I wish you were safe and I could have done more for you. It’s okay to feel that way. It’s healthy emotions to process. The pain that is caused behind all of this was and is not your fault. It’s only the fault of this babysitter. Everything else would just be about the love your parents/loved ones have for you. Because you matter, friend. Your voice matters as well as the way you feel.
The questions you ask yourself are absolutely valid, and it’s understandable to not want somehow to invite people you love to feel that pain with you. Although you deserve to also have the possibility to share those burdens and carry them with people in your life whom you trust. You don’t have to be alone with this pain, these memories and how it may affect in you in the present still. I’m personally proud of you for opening up here. 