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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Falling in Reverse Popular Monster
I wish any therapist I went to made as much sense as this lady. I have to keep my own monster hidden. Those close to me know the darkness is there, but no clue what it actually is. I despise being told how im feeling, nobody has ever been correct about that. Not even worth sharing because they don’t believe it’s true when I try to explain my actual feelings. No, they are sure it’s something else entirely. So i have to hide it, act better than I feel so they don’t even make guesses anyway.
That clarity is what she’s there for! At HeartSupport, the goal is to crystalize those emotions that otherwise could go misunderstood, and shed light on them.
I am so sorry that you have had the experience of being misunderstood. It is so alienating when people do not hear us out and don’t understand or read our emotions. You say that you despise being told how you’re feeling because everyone is always wrong. That sounds really hurtful-- to always be misread. It would feel like talking in a different language and the other person just cannot even grasp what you’re expressing. In this case, the emotion barrier disconnects you from those that love you, or those that are trying to identify your emotions.
Then, you feel so incredibly invalidated and misunderstood you don’t think they would even believe you if you told them, because they misread you so so many times. They are so out of touch and so far into another language they wouldn’t even believe the words you’re saying even if somehow you can understand each other again. Which leads to more alienation and frustration that no one cares to try to understand or believe you if they did.
I am so sorry you are having this experience of extreme mislabeling and judgment. It is a huge gap of empathy for people to be assuming certain things of you.
I hope that on their side, they can learn to listen, understand, and relate, and that you can have the language to express to safe people how you really feel. While the current people you’re surrounded with may have not proven themselves to be trustworthy, maybe there are others who can listen, understand, and believe every emotion you are currently hiding.
We all need to feel seen, heard, and known, to feel loved. It seems like you are hardly getting any of those things from those around you and I am so sorry. despite their misunderstanding, know you ARE worthy of people paying attention to you-- understanding you-- and believing what you’re going through. You deserve being seen. You deserve to be known. And you deserve to be loved truly, deeply, and fully. Keep being real with yourself, and those people will find you. I am proud of you as you continue on this journey you’re on! I hope you make the space for yourself in the meantime until you find those people who make space for you. <3 We love you! Thanks for reaching out to HeartSupport
Keeping our monsters hidden is frustrating and exhausting . Trying to explain how we’re feeling to others only to have them misunderstand and then insist they know us better than we know ourselves can be infuriating. It makes us want to give up altogether and keep the monsters locked up for good. Then we hide everything because it’s too exhausting and painful to try to go through the whole process. We start to believe that there’s no way out and that noone exists who would ever actually get it. Our feelings lie to us and then the monster we’re trying to lock away feeds on those lies and becomes stronger. We become consumed by it and hope seems to disappear. But we have to remind ourselves that when we keep everything in the dark we are giving in to the lies. Maybe no one has understood or had answers for us yet, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t out there. It’s not an easy road but it’s so worth taking. To keep reaching out and giving yourself voice. Sharing our experiences can be scary and frustrating but so can remaining alone lost in our heads believing there’s no way out. I’ve felt the same way and when I couldn’t find anyone willing to listen I started writing it all out and it was a huge release. It gave a voice to my thoughts and made them clearer. I began to understand my darkness more and it allowed me to learn to be vulnerable. And eventually I did find someone who listened and got me. It wasn’t easy but nothing worth doing ever is. I want you to know you are not alone and you are so worth the effort. You are loved so much and I’m rooting for you. Stay strong and we are here for you !
Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story with us. I am sorry that no one seems to want to actually listen to you when you are talking about how you feel and why you feel the way that you do.
I also cannot stand when someone tries to tell me about my feelings or what emotion I am feeling. It drives me up the wall. No one is able to tell anyone how they are feeling because no one has access to the other person’s mind or heart like that. I am sure that has been incredibly frustrating.
I applaud you for making the decision to start reaching out for help with your darkness. I am glad that you have decided that you want to start working through that for yourself. But I hate that the people that you have turned to for help, aren’t helping you in the way that you need. Personally, if I were still in therapy and my therapist wanted to tell me what I was feeling, I would tell them, “No, that is not what I am feeling. I am trying to explain to you what I am feeling, so please listen to me.”
You are able to advocate for yourself because no one knows what you are feeling besides you. You shouldn’t have to feel that you have to keep something hidden because the person that is supposed to listen and help you isn’t doing their job appropriately. They shouldn’t be making any guesses about what you are experiencing.
I am happy that you were able to find this song and that it resonated with you. Music as always done such an amazing job at being able to say the things that we all need to say, but don’t always have the words to say it. It gives us an outlet for our emotions and allows us to feel things without being shamed or told that it is wrong. You have every right to feel the way that you do and you should be able to tell your therapist what your feeling without them telling you that you are feeling something different.
Anytime you need to talk about anything, we are here for you. We will listen to you and we won’t make any guesses regarding your feelings. We are here to support you. You don’t have to hide anything from us. We love you and we are proud of you!