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I wish I was gone

I keep disappointing everyone around me. I don’t mean to but I keep fucking it up.
My parents don’t talk to me anymore. my best friend mad at me. I don’t really see my impact in this life…I just want to cut out. I wish someone would end it all for me because I don’t have the strength or courage to. Just a dumb ass stripper who can’t pull her life together. No one would notice if I was gone. I don’t have kids. I’m too crazy to be loved. Fuck the bipolar shit.
I want to disappear. I’m tired of going back to pain. To being weak.
My dad told me earlier this year I’m ghetto trash. Maybe he’s right.
I’m tired of fighting for survival.

I’m sorry that you are going through so much pain and hurt. That your family is struggling to express kinder words.
Their words are hurtful. When they could instead express concern more gently and with love. That truly sucks.

You aren’t trash. Even if they don’t agree with your choices.

I understand the struggles of bipolar disorder as I have it myself. It’s a hard one to get control of without the proper care.

Friend, I can’t make things better for you or fix what is hurting you. But I can reassure you that you matter. That how you feel is valid and you are not alone. You are deserving of love and compassion just as much as the next.

Right now they may struggle to be more present in your life, but you could find other people to surround yourself with. Hopefully healthier people who bring you up and support you.

It’s hard. But this place is here for you if you need somewhere to safely talk.

I hope it gets better

My friend,

You are not ghetto trash! Your job does not define you your actions do. Lack of offspring does not define you. Your mental problems do not define you they are apart of you.

It took my pops a long time to accept I had mental health problems. I hope you two can reconcile one day. When YOU are ready.

Your friend being mad at you? If it was trivial then it was not a healthy relationship. Cause true friends talk out thier grievances.

You are a good person no matter your job, where you live, your age, your mental state ECT.

If you are trying to better every day and improve yourself then that’s what counts.

I hope you find peace. comfort, validation, and solace, motivation, and strength to carry in these words you read from other posters.

Thank you for sharing