This post is really hard for me to right not only because this is a hard topic for me to post but i’m afraid i will be judged in one way or another . I guess i feel pressured to “fit in” to be “normal”. But, hey there’s no normal … Am i " good enough" to fit in . For what i deal with already i wish i was good enough. I deal with Hypertonic Cerebal Palsy and i also Have an IEP (don’t know the full name of it). College is about to start . I feel like Everyone’s attention is going to be focused on me because i’m “different” then all the kids in the classroom. For once i am talking on level classes but with kids who may not have what i have or are “as normal” as i wish i was. Will they call me out for being different, will they treat me different then from human? I just don’t want all this attention on me that i feel like i may have . What also sucks is i almost said yes to a pert test ( a test to see if i’m able to take normal classes for a degree) and we said no and i’m kinda glad we did because if i would of failed i would be put on lower classes that wouldn’t count towards my degree. Which if i would of failed it would bite me in the rear end. Thank gosh i didnt take it . I wish i wasnt different i wish these issues didnt exit . I just wish i was good enough to feel like a normal human being.
There are going to be times were we don’t want to be ourselves. It’s okay. Going to college is an opportunity to discover yourself. You will grow. There are going to be some people who will accept for whom you are. The ones who don’t are their loss. Don’t beat yourself up. I’m glad for you for being yourself. This community loves you. I love you too. Love yourself also.
Hugz To You!
May College Be Most Excellent For You!
Thank You For Sharing Your Thoughts!
Hey. If they do treat you differently, just hold your head up high. They don’t understand, and thats their problem. So you’re a little different. That’s okay. They can think whatever they want, its your life and you dont owe it to anyone to be just like them. It’s not about am I good enough for them, good enough to fit in? You cant spend your life worrying about what others want, what they think. You’ve got your own life to live, your own thoughts to think and wants to chase after.
You are good enough. We’re human. Everyone has flaws and has made mistakes, no matter who they appear to be on the outside. But just as we have flaws we also have inner beauty.
I struggled with these feelings in school due to me having learning disabilities. It made participating in class really anxiety inducing for me because I felt like people would look at me weird or make fun of me. I had major performance anxiety because I knew I was behind everyone and I was afraid of showing how “stupid” I was in public. Later on when I went to the college to get my GED I was so far behind everyone else. I was so embarrassed. I never wanted to speak up because of it or talk to anyone. When they would have people swap papers so they could grade papers as a class, I would never trade mine. I was afraid.
I understand that desire and wish to be “Normal”. I understand how scary it can be.
You got this Ashley. I understand those worries and fears. But you got this. And I’m only ever a message away just as you always tell me if you need a friend during the school year. I hope that you are able to make some friends along the way and find out that it isn’t as bad as it may seem.
I adore you sweetheart. I truly hope that things go smooth for you as I understand how stressful it all is.
- Kitty
You should be happy you’re not like everyone else. Sometimes people just don’t understand the true value of a person because they look at what’s on the outside instead of the inside. It’s a shame that people think that way but it’s the truth and it happens every day in our society. Look at the news look at social media look at interactions every day between different people. You’re not the one who needs to fit in. Everyone else just needs to learn how to be more like you. Comfortable in your own skin. I wish you Peace Love and happiness and good luck in college.
thanks . i feel like we can relate on so much . thanks for the encouraging words .