This is a topic from YOUTUBE. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on YouTube.
Belongs to: https://forum.heartsupport.com/t/38597
Id love to go to therapy but money and the fear of being sectioned or medicated silly is what keeps me out. I think since covid and since this recession my mental health has plummeted from where it was before covid. I have very high anxiety and social anxiety so im socially awkward and i skin pick, i dont sleep well and when i get reakky sleepless i get those sleep deprived hallucinations and it makes me paranoid. It doesnt help that my fiance cant find a job right now and we cant afford to have our own place he is clinically depressed and the anxiety makes me depressed and we are both suicidal at times but both too depressed to do anything about it. Im just glad i have him and we can talk through the crazy together
Hey friend. My heart goes out to you. As I was reading your post, I felt the heaviness ofbeing in this situation. It’s so hard when depression and anxiety are in the picture as it really interferes with our ability to take action, to do the things that we know would be good, but seem so difficult to reach. When you’re depressed, it takes an insane amount of energy to do things that are supposed to be normal actions of daily life. A lot of of people don’t understand this and there’s still way too much stigma when it comes to depression and anxiety. It’s good to heart that with your significant other you can talk about those things. Having this space to reflect on how you feel and sharing these experiences can be a strong asset.
Although I hear that it can also feel like a trap at times too. Somehow, when you see the person you share your life with doing things to help themselves, it inspires you at the same time. But when you feel both stuck in the same place, it’s hard to figure out what could be the first step to help yourselves. Covid and lockdowns took a real toll on my partner and I as well. I was in the midst of a depressive rut, on a long-term medical leave following a professional burn-out. We’re also stuck in a place we don’t like and had no perspective of finding a place of our own for a very long time. Then my partner also started to feel really burnt out. It was a rough time during which we were both struggling with our own demons, having a hard time to lift each other up even though we were there for each other of course.
These couple of years have been so heavy for so many of us, and it has reactivated traumas in many different ways. It makes completely sense to have been affected by it and to still feel the effects of it today. Social anxiety especially can feel like using a bicycle at times: we don’t forget how it feels to socialize, but the less we practice and the more it feels like the anxiety grows.
I’m truly sorry that things have been so difficult for both you and your partner. It sounds like you really are supportive to each other, but it is completely understandable that it adds a layer of heaviness on top of everything else at times. I hear that you’ve mentioned being afraid of the consequences of seeing a therapist, which is also understandable. Although I would personally be confident that you wouldn’t be forced at all to go to a mental hospital/clinic as these are for very specific situations and struggles. Hospitals are already overcrowded and the main tendency nowadays is to try to provide support as much as possible to people while they keep living in their home and living their daily life. Maybe it could be interesting for you to at least see a general practictioner and ask all the questions you need to them? You could even see a therapist once and only ask the questions you want regarding what could happen and in which cases if you decide to open up about what you’re going through. This would not engage you to anything, and could be an opportunity to hear directly from a professional how things are. These are of course only some thoughts and these decisions belong to you <3. I hope that, through all of this, you make sure to ask for help if you need – it’s okay to reach out to someone external, someone who’s not from your direct environment, as they can bring some neutral outlook and perspective to help and support you.
Take care, friend. You will get through this. I believe in you.