All of this makes me feel alive. but it kills me. I feel like such a monster.
my last post I made prior to this, I broke it all down
@dampbread, I can certainly see what you mean by the hardest test of your character you’ve ever had to face.
About your fiancée, try to put yourself in her shoes, her mind for a moment. The person you love and planned to spend the rest of your life with is going off overseas. I can see why she’s upset, because she thought you guys were going to have a life, but then you decided to go join the army. Females can say terrible things when their hearts are hurt. I think she say those things to you because it would be less painful than to be wondering about you all the time, and she could move on.
I’m not blaming you or trying to make you feel bad. You have your reasons, and I am simply trying to explain her actions. She was upset, she probably wasn’t thinking the clearest.
As for your friend, tell her what you’re feeling. I know honesty isn’t always easy, but it’s the only thing you can give a person you know they deserve. Maybe tell her, give her some last encouragement, and then go, if you really think you’re hurting her life. Sometimes leaving someone gives them their best chance.
This world belongs to you. Sit down, take a breath, and think about yourself, who you are and what your best choices are. You are strong, don’t forget that. We believe in you, and we’re here for you. Thank you for your service also.