This is my first time using this so here goes. For my whole life it seems like every good thing in my life tends to leave or disappears because of something I’ve done. I constantly keep Making the same mistakes and I can’t seem to stop screwing up. I always help out my friends but when I’m in need my friends are nowhere to be found. My mom doesn’t seem to care about me much she has told me I’m worthless and useless and when she found out I was cutting she just told me I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. Things are getting too much for me and idk what to do anymore
First off, I want to welcome you to HeartSupport! I hope that you find safety and refuge in this community.
Please remember that no one is perfect - we’re all human and we all make mistakes. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you fall; life is a game and it’s our job to learn from our mistakes, get up, and to try again. Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like your mom knows how to healthily handle the deep, dark struggle of self-harm. I’m sure she loves you, but she’s just ill-informed on how to help you through depression. If you can, try to find friends who can receive your help in addition to giving it in return. When in doubt, there are always licensed counselors to talk to, as well (which I highly recommend; I see one, myself). I hope this helps! You’re strong, and we believe in you.
@Memphisreign hi friend - welcome to the community! I understand you’re upset and frustrated, but people “leaving” is not something you can blame on yourself. We ALL make mistakes, sometimes we have to make them a few times before we can learn from them… This doesn’t make us worthless or useless. I’m sorry your mum reacted like that to your self harm - just yesterday my dad told me that I was being stupid when he saw mine, so I understand how you’re feeling there. Try not to look at your friends as a group but as individuals and see if there is one that you can reach out to for some help. Just know that HeartSupport is always here for you no matter what. You can get through this. We believe in you.
Welcome to HS! And thank you so much for reaching out to this community. I really hope you find the support and care you’re looking for, here. I honestly feel a lot of what you’ve shared; I constantly make the same mistakes over and over again, and they just seem to hurt the people around me and myself. I don’t know if this is your situation, but I often get angry at myself for my mistakes, because they seem to affect others terribly, and then I don’t even care about myself anymore. If this is true for you too, you’re not alone in it.
And I’m so sorry that your friends haven’t been around when you needed them most… that hurts so much, and it’s just lonely and hurtful to go through. When my parents found out I was cutting, it was a nightmare, and they told me very similar things to what you’ve been told. I think it’s true what @Eric said, that your mom must love you a lot, but just doesn’t know how to react or respond to self-injury. It doesn’t make her response “okay” or any less painful, but at least I think that’s where parents are often coming from- a place of love and simply not knowing what to do.
Please know that your worth is not defined by your performance in life, or your actions to lift people up (even though this is a beautiful thing to do for others). I often believe the lie that my mistakes or failures will cause people to leave my life, but now I’m also learning that true friends and those I consider family don’t do that if they love you. It sounds so cheesy and simple, but I think it’s true. They love you for you and that should be enough. Maybe you also set really high expectations for yourself in terms of caring for others, or in work, etc. but it’s okay to rest and also take it easy on yourself. I think we sometimes have really high expectations for ourselves, not even for others, and when we don’t reach them, we think we’ve fallen so far from the tree in failure.
I’m sorry for the super long response, but I just really don’t want you to feel alone. You are loved here, just for being you. There’s nothing you do that will make us care for you more or less. Take your time; we’re here to support you through recovery from cutting, or just be a friend to you to listen and encourage you.
Keep being courageous as you are and keep holding fast,
This is honestly awesome advice
It s my first time on the app too.
Keep pushing on. Know that you are loved and someone will love you for you. YOU are worth something. Its hard being a constant pillar of hope for everyone. So maybe take some time out form it. I am sorry your mum makes you feel that way. But look at you. You are STRONGER than you know. You had the strength to reach out. You aren’t useless. YOU are special and loved.
I believe in you