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“If you’re only known for something you don’t wanna be known for, then you start to feel unknown.” Ik exactly how this feels. I made a mistake years ago and I feel like that’s all anyone thinks about in the back of their minds.
Yes, mistakes can be very hard to live down. I’m glad that you identify your perception as a feeling rather than a fact. If you are famous and you make a mistake, it really could follow you for many years, maybe even for life.
If instead, you interact with a relatively small group of people on a regular basis, it’s amazing how quickly you can “overwrite” how others perceive you. When a famous person makes a mistake, those who hear about it form a “snapshot image” of who that person is. Then usually, they hear nothing more about that person, so that snapshot remains intact and that person is forever identified with whatever mistakes they made.
If your circle of friends and associates is much smaller, and you interact with them on a more regular basis, they gain a far more complete picture of who you are and to what extent you learn from your mistakes. They also come to know how reliable you are. As all this happens, past mistakes fade into distant memory and surprisingly often, at least functionally, are forgotten.
You are no longer the person you were when the mistake was made. Having acknowledged the mistake, you are less likely to make a similar mistake than someone who has never made such a mistake. A person can choose to let mistakes become instrumental in gaining wisdom and strength.
What would you say to a person who made a similar mistake and is now trying to move beyond it?
There are some people who take pains to remember the mistakes of others, in an attempt to gain psychological advantage and even dominance. I don’t think there’s much to be done about that, other than to steer clear of them as much as possible.
Those around you who are decent, are much more concerned about the person that you have reliably proven to be and will perceive you based on who you have been in your recent past.
Everyone makes mistakes. If they aren’t on record, it’s because they weren’t caught. Yes, many of those who have not been caught look down their noses at those who have. It would be a mistake to resent them for it because such resentment interferes with one’s own emotional well-being.
Hello, thank you for sharing. I think it’s important to remember that we all make mistakes, as it’s part of being human. Your mistake doesn’t define you as a person. I know it’s hard to ignore people’s ideas and opinions about you but I hope you can find peace in trying to focus on yourself and keep improving on that as you go through life.
Oh how that feeling of “now everyone knows me for doing that thing” can sting and burn. When it first happens we really focus on it and likely so do others. But what happens as time goes on? We keep that feeling of this is what I am and it can define us. I hate that. But something happening doesn’t have to define who you are as a person. You are much more than that one thing or time in your life. And our feelings may want to keep us tied to that ugly time, but that doesn’t have to be. It’s okay to redefine yourself to who you really are. The real you. Thank you for posting.
I’m sorry that you’re only known for a mistake you made years ago. That doesn’t seem very fair and I can see why you feel like you are unknown. The people in your life are not looking past that mistake and not paying attention to the good person you are. Making a mistake is human nature, it’s what we do after that counts in my opinion. Maybe you can leave that mistake in the past and let your light shine looking forward. Let the people in your life see you by showing them who you really are and they will come around and see the real you. Take care! You matter!