This is a topic from YOUTUBE. Reply as normal, and we will post it to the user on YouTube.
Belongs to: Therapist Reads the Diary of a Madman by Ozzy Osbourne
I’m 55 and a Veteran and have been living in my head since i was 10. no one can reach me i dwell within the confines of my own self made dark despair. i embrace it.
Hello my friend and thank you for sharing,
I hear you have been struggling for so long, it has to be so hard to go day by day and fighting. I feel you that i has to cost you a lot of effort and focus… Please be sure that you deserve to be understood, that you are to be listened and supported. I dont know your full story but i do belive that everyone deserves some space and attention to their needs and situation. Especially that there is usually much more to our stories then just “here, now”.
If you want to share more, please be sure that are here, that there are people around that will give their time to be with you and listen. It might be hard on us sometimes to get out of the comfort of know “darkness” and speak up on what hurts us… but knowing my story and others… that usually is the first step… and honest you just did that somehow, sayin here, out loud how you feel and what is going on with your life 
That is some bravery there to openly say that, and i respect that!!
I hope you find whatever makes you feel better and you please be sure that you deserve that support, that love 
Sending my best thoughts
Matt
Hi,
Thanks so much for opening up. We wanted to share a request from a Ozzy-Osbourne fan that was similar to yours. They said:
I feel useless and hopeless. Dropped out of college in my early 20’s. Now in my late 40’s watching life whizzing past me. On pain medications and anti depressant medications. Single, never married. Inherited a rather large home from my father and I have 2 cats. Keeping the whole house clean is impossible. I’ve got a track to the kitchen and bathroom and that’s about it. When I try reading my eyes jump all over the page, unable to learn. I see everyone, or feel everyone else is so much smarter and ‘quicker’ than I. Feels like I’ve spent the last several years simply trying to escape from reality. I only really enjoy life when I’m taking medication in preparation for bed. Now recently been having nightmares. So now even sleep is unwelcome. I wish I had stayed in school and learned when I was young. When I had the ability to comprehend and learn.
If it’s helpful, here’s what one of our repliers wrote in response to them:
Hi @RockHauler,
Thank you for sharing this with us. 
It’s great to know that you’re seeing a therapist. Hope that helps, even if it’s just a bit. Maybe it would be interesting to talk about these nightmares with them in a near future (?).
First of all, I wanted to say that having your own learning pace doesn’t mean that people are “smarter” than you. Intelligence is often measured by the amount of knowledge that has been learned, but it goes so far beyond that. And when I read what you’ve shared about your personal story, I can’t help but thinking that you’ve learned things from life that other people may never be aware of.
When it comes to cleaning and reading, I can only echo what @lifesuckssometimes said. However, I would like to add some more ideas.
Cleaning
1/ Do you think you may have too much stuff in your house or not? We often tend to accumulate things without noticing it. Maybe it would be interesting for you to take some time to think about it. Like identifying things you really use, things you’re emotionally attached to and… things you almost forgot about because you never use them. It can be helpful to declutter a bit sometimes and get some storage space back. Over time, it can help for cleaning too.
2/ I found that setting a timer can be helpful sometimes. Don’t know if it’s the case for you, but for me starting something is the most difficult part for almost…everything. And by having a timer, for example for 15 minutes, I get easier on track. I try to do as much as possible during this moment and then I just stop. Helps me when I’ve absolutely no motivation at all.
3/ If you’ve got the habit to use something without putting it back where it belongs… Random tip: when you’ve got stuff in a room that belongs to another one, try to bring them together depending on the room. So, when you walk in front of it while going to the concerned room, you can take it with you and take a few minutes to store it. (I’m struggling with explaining that in English so I hope it’s understandable 
).
Reading/learning
1/ I don’t know what you’re readind and, as a book lover, I can understand the importance and value we can put in these objects. But if you’ve got difficulties to read or staying focus, maybe it would be interesting to try audiobooks and/or listening would be a better way for you to approach that. Reading is a bit passive and we can easily get bored or distracted. But when you listen to something, you can try to take some notes at the same time so it helps to stay tuned, physically “active” and assimilate what’s being said. You can also make it more interesting by highlighting particular subjects you may be interested in and do your personal researches about it. 
2/ Audiovisual in general can be a great resource too. You can learn a bunch of things with documentaries, podcasts, online conferences and videos. There are interesting channels on Youtube to learn about… well, many different disciplines. Could be interesting as a complement to readings depending on your present needs.
In any case, do things at your own pace. There’s no rush in learning something and it has to remain your own pleasure. Set small objectives for everything you mentioned. Because when we see challenges as a giant mountain, we can easily get discouraged and end in doing nothing at all.
Hold fast, friend. 
Thank you for your courage.
-HeartSupport