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Belongs to: Therapist reacts to Save Me by Jelly Roll
I’m 59. Just waiting for death to call me. Drink a 12 pack a day. Sometimes 2. Only reason I continue is my 87 year old mother,
I am so sorry, my friend.
I’m sorry that you feel like life has nothing left to offer to you other than a buzz and another day. I know what it can feel like when you feel like you’re at the end of a road, that there’s nothing left at all, like everyday feels the same and they’re all washed grey. It can be so hard to find motivation to get through the day, especially when the world can be so dark and dismal.
I can promise you there is still good in the world! There are people who care about those that are hurt or mistreated, organizations that assist the poor and those in need, and individuals who know you matter. Every day you have here is precious and worthwhile, even if they’re not all sunny days.
There is still joy and happiness on rainy days too, whether it’s watching the rain fall over the world around you, the warmth of being inside, or the company we have with us. I’m glad you feel close to your mother and hope that she gives you a sense of peace and comfort, some people can’t find that with their parents. Spending time with those who mean the most to us can heal our hearts and chase away the numbness, reminding us what life’s all about.
I know when I ask my mom about her past and when she tells me stories of her childhood and growing up… most of those memories are painful. They recall turmoil and trauma that I wouldn’t wish upon anyone… but even though her past was miserable, I know that talking about it helps her heal and process her memories, and it paints a bigger picture of who my mom is and how she became the person she is today, and I love her more for being so strong to make it through.
I hope you and your mother are both in good health and have a chance to enjoy some quality time together during the holidays and after. You are loved, my friend, and we are here for you! You are not alone.
Stay warm,
~Pen 