Im absolutely done

For those who may not know my situation, I was in a position where I had issues with family and communication . That situation never got solved but it died down . haven’t had issues.
Fast forward to now I ask my mother to come and get arts and crafts with me cause I wanted to get out of the house when we got there and they didn’t have the thing I needed but something similar I tried to explain that but I feel like I wasn’t listened to and I started to feel like I was feeling overwhelmed and I said that and I broke down right after mother just left me in the aisle to have a so-called panic attack came back and got me and took me to another aisle and left again . later she came back we tried to have a conversation, meanwhile, I was still calming down, and makes the comment of " I’m so done with you" (she never made this comment before this person was hired). then we go to check out and stuff … then we get back in the car and comment " I don’t care that you are mad at me"… fast forward when we get home she asks me how to spell a word. and I see she writing an emailing I think it’s to the lady and my father. I’m so effing done. i feel like I just want to die, I feel like I just want to relapse. I just. I don’t know anymore.

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Hi all_around_ashley
I am sorry you are treated so badly. You dont deserve to be treated like that you deserve better. What do you think made your mother treat you like that? You said she never treated you like that before right. There might be an explanation like she had a really tough day. I am not trying to justify what happened I am just trying to figure out why it happened.
I honestly think you should stand your ground. Nobody should be treated like that and especially not by their parent. You deserve to be loved and cared for.

she tried asking me to show her something right after I started to feel overwhelmed and me trying to explain when I feel al panicky is not a good idea…

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From: DanMakesHisMark (Heartsupport) (Discord)

Hey friend, I’m sorry this happening. I’m so proud of you for sharing this with us. We believe in you!

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What do you mean she tried asking you to show her something. You mean like a picture or like a paper or. I am sorry but I dont understand the situation. I know that you were upset but what were you upset about?

I can’t really think straight at the moment . it was for some reason … my head just feels like a huge brain fog.

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It is ok. Just try to calm down. You will be ok you hear me. It will be alright. Breath just breath.
Here is a video that might help you. Panic Attack Talk Down / Comforting Talk / Breathing / Reassurance & Affirmations to Relieve Panic - YouTube

From: Zephirah (Discord)

Panic attacks can be hard to handle, also toxic people (even with the best of intentions) can be hard to handle. I also think that she is having an issue with the person who was hired and not you. She is upset for a reason and I am sure it has NOTHING to do with you. On that note, I would say as advice, give yourself time to calm down and then talk to her and your father together and while you are doing so please stay calm. Do not yell or swear at them because that will not solve anything and make them not want to listen. I also want you to know that you are loved and I fully believe if you did choose to end your life that the world would be less of a good place with out you in it.

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Maybe not right now when things are very fresh and emotions still high .

But could you draft up a little card or signal to your mom when things are getting too intense for you and you’re becoming overwhelmed? Either like a physical card with some pointers that could help you let her know (Without having to explain at length) so there is a plan for how to deal with it.

I would hope it would help, but of course it depends on other factors. But sometimes having a plan for how to deal with a panic attack or being overwhelmed may help them be able to respond better when they know beforehand what you need at that moment.

So, if you were able to signal/inform her that things are intense, and you’re in your head a lot, she would know to not ask you questions until you were less overwhelmed. Just an idea.

Really hope that you are feeling a bit better now.

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Oh i 100% agree with you on this . I know yelling and swearing wont help but it doesnt help for the fact when crap goes south or when stuff happens voice will be raised ( a story for another time )… When the one situation happened which led to stuff and this i could tell it was going to be toxic and controlling and im not ok with that at all.

thank you for responding, yeah it took about a good day for me to calm down.

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