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From weightroom_throwaway_account: I’m averaging barely 6 hours of sleep a night trying to hold my entire family together. My wife is having a difficult pregnancy and is basically always asleep if she’s not at work, so I’m balancing working full time, taking care of our three kids, and doing 99% of the household chores. I barely have time to breath, much less take care of myself, and I’m constantly working while still being worried that I’m not working hard enough. Feels like the entire weight of my family’s success is riding firmly on my shoulders and if I miss anything we’ll all fall apart.
Hi Friend, it is no wonder you do not sleep properly, I know you are physically and mentally exhausted but I don’t think your brain is switching off long enough to allow you to get a decent amount of sleep and then if you do sleep 6 hours is it good sleep? You are dealing with a lot and the only way you are going to make changes my friend is if you make them and there are different ways you could do that. One way to start with that I had to learn in my life was to be able to say no sometimes even when everything about me wanted to say yes because it seemed like the right thing to do. How can you help anyone if you are burned out?
Self care is as important as caring for anyone else and yes that is yet another thing to add to the list of things to do but it is one that will hopefully help in making all the others a little easier. I am sure if you look around, some of the things you rush to do may not actually need to be rushed to be done? its become a habit to just “have” to get it done right now. There are so many people now that have to take on extra jobs etc that also are trying to fit 19 hour days into 14 hours and its very sad as no one gets that time to actually enjoy what they are working for.
I have found a small list of ways you could start to simplify your life a little, it might sound a bit silly but I think in practice it does make sense even if it gives you an extra hour a day to smell the roses and breath.
Finally, if you are really struggling with the sleep thing maybe you could speak to your doctor however I would highly recommend trying to relax yourself before heading down a medical route.
I would love an update if you get chance. Good luck friend. Lisa.
Wow friend, it’s so heavy to carry all of this just on your own shoulders. You are objectively giving so much of your time and energy to your family, which is truly admirable. But it also makes completely sense to feel overwhelmed and stressed about all of it. When there’s so much responsibility on you, it’s scary to even think about slowing down as there isn’t this sense of having a safety net, a secure option that would give you time to rest. In these circumstances, taking care of yourself, taking time to pause and breathing feels like giving up on your family or putting them at risk, which is so difficult to navigate.
My hope for you is that you can start to intentionally set times - even very short times - throughout your day to enjoy some fresh air, silence and stillness. When it feels like you’re walking through a constant storm, it just feels good to have little pauses that bring back a sense of inner grounding. Maybe it could be possible to also discuss about this with your wife, and find solutions together? Friends or family members who could help taking care of the kids one afternoon, so you could both rest and recharge together for example. Overall, you do deserve to feel like breathing again, and not to be crushed by such pressure. It is necessary to help out, but there may be some routes to take with the support of your significant other, in order to make this season more manageable for you. Your well-being matters very much.