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I’m dealing with depression and insanity But that’s me
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Oh friend, you are surely not insane in any way. What you describe is that you are struggling, and what is says about you is only that you’re a human being trying tofind their way in this world. Being called insane would be somehow stigmatizing, and you certainly don’t deserve to have that type of label put on you. You didn’t choose to struggle or to have a depression. It’s absolutely not your fault, and in no way it would ever define you or your worth. It’s a hardship that happens to be a part of your life, although it doesn’t define who you are and what your soul is made of.
It’s understandable though that it feels somehow like being insane, and maybe therefore inadequate in this world. I’ve personally been struggling with a high functioning depression and complex ptsd for most of my life, and these definitely make me feel a lot of times as if I am some kind of outsider. Somehow too broken, somehow unable to fit in, somehow not equipped to be “normal” and live a “normal” life - or at least what looks like it. It’s really hard when it feels like you’re carrying unwanted burdens in your life that prevent you from the being the person you want to be or doing the things you want to do. It is this giant wall that places itself between you and the world around you, making you feel alone and profoundly isolated as a result.
Depression speaks many lies, and one of them is often to make us believe that we are not good enough, that we are worthless compared to others. That this invisible wall is also something impossible to control and impossible to heal from. It feeds on the despair, hopelessness and helplessness it adds into our own world, and it’s really hard sometimes to separate it from who we are. For a long time I’ve personally felt like building my identity around my struggles, and it’s a trap I’ve been having a hard time to get out from. I don’t know if this is something you’ve been experiencing yourself, but I would imagine that sometimes it must feel like you’re profoundly alone with this and that nothing would be enough to help you keep your head above waters.
What your statement says about you, my friend, is that you are a freaking warrior. Navigating in this world while dealing with a depression can be pretty wild. It’s too often stigmatized, not understood enough, not seen enough either. It’s a tumultuous journey that too often we are forced to explore just on our own. There should be more support, openneness and understanding when it comes to depression. In any case, your efforts are seen and understood here, even if they might remain invisible to the eyes of most.
I don’t know if you have support in your life, but you certainly deserve to have some and to feel connected to people who are safe to you, who would see YOU without any judgment and without any fear.
@@HeartSupport my mom left when I was 14 I hated everything I even lost my belief in God I kept on trying to pull myself back from the darkness but it kept on taking me but I never did drugs that’s one thing I didn’t want. I went to therapy for about a year it helped a lot but depression kept on hitting me I’m 24 now. I’m hitting back as much as I can. I met my stepmom at 16 well she’s more of a mom now. my actual mom is a drug addict fiend she tries to keep on throwing herself in my life I just don’t want her there and my brother is following in her footsteps he’s in jail now and everyone is expecting me to pick up the pieces I just can’t. I hate everyone asking me if I’m okay knowing that I always bounce back I never will kill myself I’m a warrior. I’m going to be a uncle to my step sister’s baby soon I will always be happy for what I have but I will never be happy mentally. Ps. Always love yourself no matter what.