So the title is a little funny in comparison to all my past posts, but I truly feel happy considering how hard the last year has been.
I’ve started my journey towards streaming alongisde my best friend, though we’ve decided to start with videos first. I’ve also opened commissions as an artist which will hopefully help a little with my economic situation, even if it’s just my cat’s food.
The friend who told me I shouldn’t stream cuz I’m a “female” hasn’t talked to me in a while and I haven’t heard of my ex in months, but - here’s the deal - even though it makes me a little sad sometimes I keep thinking about other stuff until my therapist asks me how I’ve been doing with that (and she stops bringing it up if it makes me too uncomfortable, which is great really).
Only thing bothering me right now is looking for an income and finishing my studies, because I’m exhausted and simply don’t care enough for so many of these classes But fuck it, we ball.
So, nothing’s perfect but things are certainly getting better and I’m very proud of myself for surviving this horrible era of my life
I went through some of your older posts and want to say that this isn’t necessarily funny in comparison to all of the other ones…it’s incredible! It makes me so freaking happy to see people who have hit rock bottom bounce back and share something like this (I’ve hit rock bottom myself and have clawed my way back from the depths of hell, so I know how this goes.)
I want you to know that I’m extremely proud of you because the steps that you’ve taken to be able to come here and share that you truly feel happy are not easy at all. It’s a journey through the dark night of the soul.
My favorite people I’ve met have been those who have done just this as they hold something in them about life that was almost earned through their strugles. In fact, there are countless patterns through nature, biology, mental health that indicate those that go through truama and bounce back are more fulfilled, happier, and content with their own life.
Keep up the good work!
My only bit of “advice” is, and this is if you haven’t already began this with your therapist, is to really get to “know thy self.” Life is inherently hard and filled with ups and downs. It’s important to establish foundational things to help you be more resiliant when something negative manisfests in your life. This image does a decent job of capturing the “progress path” through life. Ideally our net progress is positive, despite dips into the negative!
I’m pumped that you’re following through with streaming. Stick with it. I like to think of Joe Rogan in this context as when he first started his “podcasts” there was like 3 people who would listen to them. He just kept doing them and kept doing them and now look what he’s acheived.
Proud of you friend! Keep it up and of course know that the Heartsupport family is here for you for anything!
It’s great to be able to celebrate passing through the struggle! We get better one step at a time, and every step is important, no matter how small.
I think it’s great you want to stream. I know streaming isn’t for everyone, but if it’s something you enjoy, go for it! Challenges will always come, whether it be knowing if the income will be enough to cover the expenses or if some haters try to break you, but if you are prepared, you can handle it. One streamer that you could look up to is CocoConfession (Twitch). She is a variety gamer, loves retro games, speed-runs LOZ:ALTTP, cross-stitches, plays bass. She also struggles with health challenges, so the flexibility in scheduling for streaming makes it easier to work when she is able to and earn enough to help with her medical expenses. She has also shared about the struggles as a female gamer/streamer, but she keeps at it.
You keep going towards building a better life, and you will attract those people that will encourage you on the hard days.
It’s really nice to hear that you’re finding happiness and making strides forward, especially after such a tough year. Starting your journey into streaming and opening up commissions for your art sounds like exciting new ventures, and it’s great that you’re taking steps towards doing what you love and potentially improving your financial situation—even if it’s just a bit at a time.
It’s understandable to have mixed feelings about losing contact with your friend and your ex, but it seems like you’re handling it with a lot of maturity. Keeping busy and shifting your focus to other things can be a healthy way to cope, and it’s good to hear your therapist is there to support you through these feelings, making sure you’re comfortable during your sessions.
As for your studies and the struggle to find motivation there, you’re definitely not alone. It can be really challenging to push through when you’re exhausted and uninterested. But as you said, “fuck it, we ball”—sometimes, adopting a bit of a defiant attitude can help us power through the rough patches.
You should definitely be proud of yourself for navigating through such a difficult time and making progress. It’s important to acknowledge the strength it takes to move forward and the resilience you’ve shown. Keep focusing on the things that bring you joy and fulfillment, and continue to take things one step at a time. You’re doing great, and things will continue to get better. Keep up the awesome work!
But fuck it, we ball.
