I'm fuming mad

My week couldn’t get worse. My fiance told me that her sister called me something that is truly abominable that I can’t even mention the word that’s how mad I Am. I haven’t spoken to my girlfriend’s sister in two years I don’t even think about her and she does this!? I’m very disgusted, angry, hurt and just a deplorable person to make something up that is so shallow and low. I’m glad that my girlfriend told me but I don’t feel I meet her family after this stunt they pulled for no reason. I cannot stand people that are racist, xenophobic, hispanophobic, elitist, fascist, misandrist and ignorant. I’ve been more than nice with her family and I would assume being from a wealthy and highly educated country I expected them to be more evolved and not do something so petty and disgusting. I don’t know why she did it but she crossed a boundary I will never forgive.


It sounds like you are describing my family. Thing about my family is, they tried to hide it. I was such a misfit, that their prejudices did not rub off on me so much. One of my brothers outgrew the stupidity, but the other one still is an ass hole.

It’s good that your girlfriend told you about it, because there are much worse ways of finding out about their attitude. The question is, can you and your girlfriend sustain a relationship in spite of her family? I hope the answer is yes. Is it just her sister, or the entire family?

It does not feel good for me to harbor anger and resentment towards anyone for the long-term. When someone really pisses you off, you have to let yourself feel whatever you need to, in order to allow emotional release. In order to avoid carrying that negative emotional baggage for the long-term, I simply regard the other person’s ignorance as a form of mental illness, which it could very well be. That allows me to let the feelings pass. After all, it’s not doing me any good to hang onto the anger for any longer than necessary.

That your girlfriends sister is taking shots at you after two years, does make it seem that she may actually be mentally ill.

It does sound like you and your girlfriend have a lot to talk about, in order to survive the challenge that her family has presented.

I wish you the best, Wings


As far as I know it’s just her sister her other family has treated me well especial her father. I think her sister has something wrong with her especially bringing up things that are so old and my girlfriend is not the problem she is one of Kindest people I’ve ever met. I don’t think her family is trying to break us up I think what it is is that her family are elitist I’m educated I have my degree but I’m not a doctor, lawyer or engineer and what’s interesting is her sister is a doctor my gfs family are all doctors, lawyers highly educate people I would have expected this kind of behavior from low income uneducated people but not from people that are evolved. Personally her sister must miserable in her own life but it doesn’t give her a right to call me something I’m not.


From: Lisalovesfeathers

Hi Friend, Thank you for your post, Firstly I am very sorry that you have been hurt by someone’s hateful words but can I clarify with you that this was your girlfriend’s sister yes? Not her entire family that did this? It would be very sad if one person ruined the reputation of a whole family because they had a bad mouth that they couldn’t keep closed. I can certainly understand that this would upset you though and you have every right to be and I truly hope you get a decent apology that one day you may be able to accept and move forward with. Never say never. You also have to bear in mind of course that you may end up settling down with your girlfriend that you have now so in time, and I really do mean in time, its all very raw at the moment but in time it might be easier to find forgiveness for this person so that family occasions are more enjoyable for you and you girlfriend/wife etc. Anyway, for now, again I am very sorry it happened and I hope that you can get past it enough to enjoy your weekend because that is indeed what you deserve. Much Love Lisa. x


From: micronious

I’m so very sorry you were hurt so bad. It’s really not fair when people say things about us… even more so when it’s people we know. I know you are mad and you certainly have a right to be. Try and let that anger out and replace it with love. You deserve love no matter what is going on. You matter and you are so very important. Don’t forget that and try not to let others thoughts of you take that happiness from you! Much light and love to you friend.



Hi @ranma1983 I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this type of disrespect, it makes me so upset. I hope you can find some type of resolution and closure so you can find peace. ~Mystrose


From: SuchBlue

Unfortunately people like that just exist, usually because they were raised to believe it and/or had specific experiences that led them to believe it. It’s sad that people have to be split up because of this and I hope that you can be happy with each other sooner or later :slightly_smiling_face: :hrtlegolove:


Hi ranma1983
I am sorry you were called something that was so horrible. i know it must piss you off a lot and rightfuly so. just remember that your fiance loves you and that love is real. She told you and she did not have to. I know you dont like her side of the family but its still he family and they are probably going to be at your wedding. You will probably have to put up with them at sertain occasions. remember that you are not doing it for them but for your fiance that loves you and you love her. Your love is stronger that some peoples ignorance. I wish you both a lot of happiness and luck :wink:.


From: eloquentpetrichor

Hello, ranma1983! I’m so sorry your fiance’s sister felt it was okay to say something like that to you. I am the same, I cannot stand racism and phobic people. I could rant for hours about how horrible it is that people still refuse to overcome their ignorance and fears to see that we are all one people regardless of race, orientation, gender, etc. But that will do no good for me to propagate more hatred. I’ll leave the ranting to you, dear friend, rant away. I am here to spread love and support. So I want you to know how much I think you are a wonderful person who deserves to keep people out of your life who cannot see past their own issues to embrace who you are as a person.

I hope your girlfriend understands how much this hurt you and supports your decision to not interact with her sister. Stay strong :hrtlegolove:

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It was just my girlfriend’s sister

I’m sorry that you were hurt, it is never okay to resort or use a slur, and I’m not saying that that was okay. However, I would also gently ask you to ensure that you also monitor the things you are saying.

It’s not okay for anyone to use the kind of language you were told was used to describe you, but it’s also very uncool to make these kind of pronouncements on others. People are not less than others based on the amount of money or education they have.

I’d say this is a good opportunity to consider the things you say and make sure that you are not unintentionally saying these things that are causing offense to others and causing them to react negatively to you.

I will make a note of it thank you and I will rewrite what I wrote ty.

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