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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Dear Alcohol by Dax
I’m honest with my addiction, and I understand the dire need to stop. I’m trying, I really am. Naturally I’m more introverted and having shot after shot is what allows my extroverted side to come out. I made friends doing this, and friends that aren’t just drinking friends either. That’s what makes this so hard to let go for me, I hate it and myself
I can understand the pain to stop drinking and I struggled with that for many years. When a person drink alcohol, it affects their brain to become emotional. There is nothing wrong with drinking but I’m scare for others the negative health consequences. My family and cousins are alcoholics that suffered liver & kidney problems. Just remember to limit on how much you drinking.
It’s okay to be an introvert and there is nothing wrong with that. I used to have fake personality to impress my ex-friends but it made me feel worse. It wasn’t who I was as a person. My ex-friends like my fake personality than the real me. I used to hate myself for many years but this year I kinda don’t care if people don’t like me. A good friend should always be open-minded and love the way you are.
Instead of drinking to impress friends, What are hobbies and interest that you enjoy talking about? I messed up a lot my friendship but I learned how become better. My best tip to make friends is asking about their interest and hobbies. If you talked about yourself all the time, people will feel exhausted.
I’m super concern with the drinking problem. Have you ever talk with a therapist and attend support group? Being sober is hard for my experience. I tried to reward myself like eating ice cream when I stop drinking alcohol.
I hope you will reach a point in your life of shifting this hate for yourself to compassion, my friend. Because what you have been experiencing makes sense, and because it is profoundly human too. Alcohol can become for some of us an outlet that helps us break down barriers we usually hold within, and once you taste this sense of freedom it’s hard to not use it for this purpose anymore. It’s like having found a magic recipe to the fears that were paralyzing you and preventing you to connect with others the way you wanted to. It makes you feel more powerful, more confident, and it’s understandable that your heart would lean towards something that helps you be the person you want to be immediately, and not after months of years of working on the root of your struggles.
For what it’s worth, I can relate to what you have shared here. I’ve struggled with social and performance anxiety for pretty much all my life, but never was into alcohol really until the last year or so. This year in particular, I’ve seen how much I can be fragile with it. You know, this moment when you feel like you’re walking on this fine line, where there is potential for addiction, but you are not trapped in it yet. You just see yourself slowly falling into it, but you know you have time and room to revert the course. The last few months I’ve experienced how it feels to want to drink before an important meeting, or late at night, or early in the morning. I made the decision of telling my partner that I think I’d be able to slip into having a problem with alcohol, and need accountability on this. It was a first step to stop the course.
The sensation it gives you in helping you be much more social and free yourself from crippling fears is so powerful. You know objectively that it is a trap, but again it’s also human to long for a quick fix when your heart is in pain. I hope you take time to celebrat eyour victories along the way and to acknowledge all your efforts, because they do matter very much. In recovery there are ups and downs, steps forward and setbacks, but the very fact that you keep on trying is what ignites and fuels growth over time. I believe you will overcome this struggle, and learn to meet yourself at a deeper, healing level. You got this, friend. You will find your way in being your true self without needing alcohol as an outlet. You will experience how it feels to be loved for who you are, and not for how confident, talkative or social you might appear. 