Lately I’ve been in this loop. I wake up only to go back to sleep the next day. I’m just not happy right now. I haven’t been able to get a job. It’s just the same thing day after day and it’s really taking its toll. I tell people that I’m doing okay and that I’m happy but the truth is that I’m not. I’m not happy. The things I loved doing just don’t give me as much joy as they used to. My depression is back and part of me just doesn’t really care. I feel like if I do get a job things will be different. And once I get a stable income, I’m on my own. But right now, I don’t know what to do.
I’ve grown used to not doing anything with my life. And I really want to change that. I want to be the best version of me there is and for whatever reason, I just haven’t figured out how. I want to go out and meet new people but every time I get the chance I back down. I want to be somebody. I don’t want to be this shell of a person anymore. I’m tired of it. And I want things to change. I just don’t know where or how to begin.