My life is really messy, I’m 22 my father the abusive druken asshole has cancer now, my mother is like my daugther,i’m an intern in a multinational(which is great) but my onboarding has being a mess because of my family situation, my manager is not anwsering my emails, boys think that i’m trouble, cause I AM, but in all the not fun ways… I’m a burden to my friends, I dont have any brothers, or uncles, cousings, i have no one absoluty no one… and i’m tired of existing… I would never attemp suicide cause I’m scared of fisical pain, but I cant live any longer, i just want it to stop.I need support goddammit, I NEED help, real help, money, guidance, and a hug from someone that actually can hold ME. So yeah, I want to stop existing, but I’m a coward.
FYI I’m a liltle brat just for not being grateful of all that I do have, there is people with bigger problems, but my shoulders are tired.
First, welcome to the community 
I am sad that you are living that situation. I am a very lucky person of not having an abusive parents but It seem to be like it wasnt easy for you living in that situation.
Is very sad that you are having that thought of wanting to end the pain or that thinking that you are a burden to your friends,because you arent a burden, I was feeling like that and I know how horrible it feel like. At the start of this years I was having those thought of ending everything and that my pain stop but thank for this community I learn that I have to keep fighting because better days will come and you deserve to be happy.
I am sorry if I cant help you a lot, I am not an expert or I dont have many life experience, but I can tell you that you have us here, you arent alone. You are a strong person.
I send you a virtual hug from here.
Take care 