Im losing it

From slyy...: im really feeling like its ending soon. ive commented here before, and to who replied, thank you so much. it was really nice of u all. i decided to visit student advice, which turned out to be a mini therapy session but also maybe not? im still not sure, regardless i got a lot of advice around hotlines and stuff and plans on how to fix my health. she sent me an email with all the info is great. until i realised my mother also has access to my uni email. so you can imagine the aftermath. ive managed to convince her its something completely different (i failed attendance for some stupid reason some time ago so i said it was just a sort of “mental health check” ). but to say things havent been rough is an understatement. i went to my gp (who has a very epic 0.4 rating on google btw) only to find they are closed during their opening hours as well. i came back home and my mother thought i went to the gp when i told her i was going to the park, and so another event transpired of me just calming her down whilst im breaking down inside. i have a poster submission next week which i havent done anything for because of pure procastination and my life currently of whom im partnered with someone so i feel even worse. i also have a driving test next week but the funny thing is my father never let me ge tlessons and taught me in “his way” which is by far horrible and i pretty much had to self teeach driving with a donkey screaming at me when i did something wrong but i still havent learned everything and hes pressuring me on this test now. there was something i had to email and i missed it by jsut a day and now me and him are in HUGE trouble but it isnt his fault its mine and i never wanted it to happen i just… wasnt feeling good. my degrading mental health is starting to have a physical toll on my body such as constant shaking and jerking at random times. i feel like in real life, everyone is against me, like they have some vendetta against me. my father always taught me thats the case in life and i thought he was wrong but thats my reality now. im not sure at all what i can do. i have no gp to check my phsycail symtpoms. no gp to refer myself to some mentla health clinic or something. i only see that student advice person every friday. i said before when my exams come around my life ends but it seems like its already starting now, as in real life no one is fucking there for me anymore and seems to just want to hurt me, that sounds really stupid and petty but thats what it feels like now.

Hey- I want to thank you so much for coming back to the forum and opening up with us. I’m so glad you’ve felt the love on here before and know that this is a safe space to be vulnerable. What you’re dealing with sounds heavy, and I’m sorry that you carry these emotional burdens around. It seems like your situation is very overwhelming, like everything in your life is stacking on top of you higher and higher, leaving no room to breathe. But I want you to know that there is hope for you, and you aren’t going to be crushed by what currently feels like an infinite weight of burden.

Something that you said that really makes me happy is how you are actively seeking out help from your GP and from your student advisor. As a student myself, who has gone to campus counselors, I know how helpful that can be. I’m really glad you have that person in your court. Additionally, even though you may not be getting a response, I’m very glad that you are seeking out a GP. Reaching out to others has always been so helpful for me in times of need, and you are obviously good at that! I would encourage you to continue reaching out and seeking a listening ear for what you are struggling with. The people that are around you in your life are there for you and to be a resource when you feel low. I know that there are people in your life that love you and cherish having you around, so take heart in that fact, and let them be a light to you in the way that you have been a light to them.

This is not the end for you, and you have so much life to live. You are loved and cared for, and the world is a better place with you in it. I know it can be really hard to make it through each day, but I know that the hope waiting for you on the other side is worth more than you can imagine. Holdfast friend- we believe in you.

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Hey slyy!

I really appreciate your post to reach out for help. It shows great resiliency and strength to continue to try to find connection. It sounds like you’re got things from every side coming in like a hurricane-- sweeping in and uprooting every foundation. Relationships are strained because you feel the pressure to not worry your parents and feel unprepared and ill-equipped for the deadlines looming. When things pile up like that, like not sending that email you needed to, it is easy to feel like it is life or death. The hotlines and plans and things to help your health can be super awesome resources and can be lifelines and I really hope you cant find more of those anchors to help you weather the storms whether its student advice, seeing a professional, or reaching out to a friend. Some of these stressors will pass-- however you do on your driving test-- or your exams-- it is not the end. I am sorry to hear this has also had physical effects on your health with the shaking-- that definitely shows that you’re in a lot of stress. To feel like everyone has a vendetta against you would feel so defeated and impossible-- like whatever you do- nothing will help. It is not stupid or petty to feel like no one is there for you and to need more support-- it sounds like you need more people to talk to and to feel safe with. Sometimes our mindset determines our reality-- so to feel like everyone is against may create an environment where you only see that. Can you look for ways or people that are supportive and helpful?

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First I want to commend you for reaching out and sharing. I can totally understand why you would be frustrated right now. You have a lot going on and must be feeling overwhelmed, especially when it seems like some of the people around you don’t seem to get it and your experience with your gp left you feeling frustrated. Finding the right support system can be challenging, especially when everything seems to be happening all at once but you’ve taken the first step which is amazing! I encourage you to keep reaching out because you are worth it and I believe there is hope for you!

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I’m really proud of you for coming back to HeartSupport. It’s very admirable to see the effort you’ve been putting in with going to see your gp and meeting with your student advisor. You must be feeling so overwhelmed with everything going on right now. I’m so sorry to hear that your mother has such a challenging reaction when regarding mental health advocacy. Do you think it might be hard for her to hear that you’re struggling? She may feel hurt that you want to talk with someone else besides her and wants to be a resource for you. I completely understand how hard driving lessons must be going right now. I remember crying several times due to the amount of stress I felt when my dad would yell at me for simple things such as turning to slow or using the radio. I remember breaking down crying and screaming at him for being such an awful teacher. It wasn’t until I sat down and opened up to how much stress he put on me behind the wheel that tensions went down. Opening up to your parents is definitely not an easy things to do. Advocating and telling them how you’re feeling may be a way to show you that there are people in your life who are for you and not against you.

From what I’ve read, you’re very resilient and are trying to do what is best for yourself. There’s no reason that people would want to hurt someone like you, I promise there are people who love you so so much. I appreciate you for posting, always feel welcome to talk with us here, you are so loved.


Thank you so much for reaching out! It takes a lot of courage to speak up. I hear you and I feel you. What you’re going through must be very overwhelming, it seems hard to breath when we have all these waves crashing on us. When we have so many things that layer on top of our already existing stress, we don’t know what to do with all of this baggage. I want you to know it’s okay to carry this weight, it is not bound to last. You may feel hopeless, with a feeling that everyone against you, but I promise that is far from the truth. You were created to love, and to be loved, I promise there are so many people that love you! You are making so much progress even if it doesn’t seem like it, I am rooting for you!