Do I know what I am looking for? No, Do I think I have any future? I don’t know. About me, I have very severe anxiety to the point of disability, No job, No friends and for sure nonexistent self-worth literally so called shut in. Living with verbally abusive mother. I’ve always been a struggle with my mental illness, but a guess I was just enduring it, but those past 2 months were horrible. I am so scared to be independent, never live by myself. As right now just Blank thoughts, because idk how to make it happen, but I want Out from this house. That’s it I guess. Sorry for my terribly English, and sorry for ppl that read my nonsense
9 Likes
Thank you for sharing, I sense the pain through your words and know how painful this can be. I can relate wholeheartedly with your struggles. Anxiety can cause so much anguish and I understand that you feel debilitated by it. It may be hard to accept and believe but you are very strong for expressing what you’ve been going through. You’ve taken a step that can be the hardest thing to do and most are too afraid to do and that’s reaching out for support.
You are searching for a way out of your current situation which is such a positive thing and it can be frightening because of the unknown. You’re very self aware and self is a great place to start to help you achieve that. Every situation is different and I may not know the circumstances of your situation but I know it’s been difficult for you.
From experience, I’ve struggled and still struggle with debilitating anxiety and depression. It has gotten so much better though with the help of psychiatric medication. I tried every avenue you could think of before seeking out psychiatric help and it’s been the one thing that has helped me the most. It’s a crutch. It could be an option for you if you haven’t already sought out that kind of help.
You’re very brave I hope you know. I know none of this has been easy for you. Like I said you’ve taken the first huge step in the right direction it may not seem like much but it is. I’m here to listen if you need to vent at all and you have my support. Your post captured me, you’re not alone through this. 
5 Likes
So sorry for a late reply I was so scared to even check forum tbh but In the same time I am so thankful for yours kind words of encouragement and this means a lot to me.
2 Likes
I’m glad you feel that way, and never hesitate to come back. This forum has been very helpful for me and I’m sure it wound be very beneficial for you when you are overwhelmed and need someone to talk to. I hope you are doing okay today. How have you been?
2 Likes
Hello, my post I guess give me courage, but nothing really changed maybe is more stable (bad but stable) so yea, but I hope you have been good in your life, thanks for asking
2 Likes
I am sorry that you are going through this. If I could take your place I would. No one should have to go through that. I want you to know that we are here and care for you
2 Likes
Hey friend. I totally understand the feeling of anxiety keeping you away from working and just living…I have a lot of anxiety that affects my life like that a lot. I also have codependency with my husband and can’t even imagine living on my own. There’s not a much of
I wish I could offer up some help on the abusive mom thing…I’m not sure how old you are, so I don’t know if you can look into moving out some time. Sometimes being thrown into something you’re uncomfortable with can be a good thing that helps you learn how to deal with those kinds of parts of your life…and with that comes confidence when you realize you can do it alone. Your mom’s actions are not your fault, and not a reflection of you…no matter how much it may feel like that.
3 Likes
From: ᏒᎧᏕᎥᏋ
Hello mitsuhide, welcome to the forum. Thank you for trusting us with your struggles. I’m so sorry that your mother is abusive and has caused you to feel like you do. I’m not sure of your age, but is there a chance you can seek therapy or are you already in therapy? You can learn the tools you need to cope with anxiety and if needed your doctor can prescribe meds to help. You can do some healing. Take care! ~Mystrose
3 Likes
From: eloquentpetrichor
Hello, mitsuhide, and welcome to HeartSupport! Thank you for sharing your story with us 
I’m so sorry to hear that your mother is not supporting you the way that you deserve and that you feel cut off from other people. That can definitely make things so much more difficult especially while dealing with such strong anxiety problems. I hope that you can find a way to get away from your mother and her influence. Do you have any other family you could go to for help?
Regardless of what happens at home I hope that you find some support here in the community. We are always here to listen and offer what words we can. Have you heard of Twitch? HeartSupport has a channel twitch.tv/heartsupport that they stream to where you can find lots of very kind people like those on the wall.
I hope that you continue posting about your journey and letting us show you the kindness and support that you deserve. You matter and you are an amazing and strong human. Keep swimming
2 Likes
From: Dr Hogarth
Hi mitsuhide,
Anxiety can be so crippling and I am sorry you have had to go through it on your own; no one deserves that. I agree that I think your long term plan should be to put distance between you and your Mum, as living with abuse like that is absolutely not something you should be dealing with. However, if you are overwhelmed with your anxiety, I think that is something you need to manage first. Living day-to-day with severe anxiety is just relentless and your brain will not be able to process all the admin and choices that come with moving out.
Do you currently have a therapist? It sounds like you really need to talk through what’s going on; both with your anxiety and your Mum. For me, I have always found that when I feel lost in my fears and dread, making a plan and taking action can make things seem more in control. I’m not saying that’s easy, I know it isn’t. I do think though that making change, changing direction and having a goal, makes the world seem less out of control and frightening.
Hold fast friend x
2 Likes
From: sea__kay
Hey mitsuhide, I’m so sorry that you are in this difficult situation with your mother and that you’re struggling so much with anxiety and self-worth. I hope you know that you are worthy and deserve to be treated respectfully. You have always deserved loving and supportive parents. That your mother isn’t able to provide a healthy environment doesn’t say anything about you. You matter, as does your mental health – and because of that I would like to encourage you to seek professional help. Would that be available to you and could you imagine reaching out to a professional? If this was out of reach due to your anxiety, maybe you could break it down into smaller steps. You could join the HeartSupport discord server, catch one of the twitch streams, and/or keep posting here so that you become more comfortable to share what is going on in your life and what is on your heart. You are always welcome here. We’re here for you and would love to support you. You’re loved, hold fast.
2 Likes
From: Lisalovesfeathers
Hi Friend, Thank you for your post, I know its been a short while since you wrote this post. Living with high levels of anxiety is so hard its crippling in many ways and the thought of having to go out there and do it all by yourself is very frightening but so is staying in a situation where you re so unhappy and being abusued by a person who is meant to love them. I wonder if it is possible for you to work on your anxiety and self worth with a therapist a bit before heading out on your own, to build up your self esteem somewhat so that you know that you can manage. because you can friend, you are capable and worthy of being out there and managing without having someone put you down. You also now have this family to help and support you anytime you need us.
Much Love Lisalovesfeathers. x
1 Like
That sounds like a really difficult situation to be in. Even if you don’t know right now what exactly you are looking for, that’s okay. You don’t have to find that out alone. There are always people who could help out, and places you could turn to. I am very sure that you do have a future!
It feels a bit to me like you are putting a lot of pressure on yourself in terms of moving out and living alone. That fear might paralyse you in actually doing any first step at all. It doesn’t mean you have to jump into the cold water immediately and live all on your own, there can be many steps in between, for example you could live with somebody else than your mother, or maybe there are possibilities for assisted/sheltered living nearby. When I was younger I also thought I could never live on my own, but things you have never done before always seem scary.
I hope you can find somebody you can reach out to, like a therapist/doctor, a school counsellor, or maybe another family member who is aware of your situation and could help out/mediate. There is help for you out there, don’t give up.
2 Likes
This topic was automatically closed after 365 days. New replies are no longer allowed.