Hey, thank you for opening up to us, you’re in the right place and you are so loved and so special. You’re in the right place, you are safe here.
I can understand how overwhelming this must all be for you, I also struggled with having such heavy anxiety and depression when I was younger. I remember having times at friend’s birthday parties, sports games, or any other gathering and I’d need to leave and go cry, or run away so that everyone would stop looking at me. I have been in your shoes and I know how hard each day can seem.
I want to say right now is that I am so proud of you. I’m so sorry you’ve felt so much hurt to the point you wanted to hurt yourself and wanted to not be here anymore. I am so happy that you are still here and that I am able to write to you in this very moment. You are a gift. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Anything that tells you otherwise is a lie. I know how these lies can consume us, I have found that they can tend to creep back in and I have to punch them away again and again. Although they might come back, you will get stronger. You will be able to punch these lies away so well that they won’t be coming back for a long, long time.
I’m someone whose 20 right now, and almost 6 years ago I had to go to a mental hospital because I was so bad. So believe me when I say this: I know it gets better, because I didn’t think it would and it did. The lies are so strong, they will tell you that you are worthless, they will tell you that it doesn’t get better, but they are only lies.
Please know that you are more than just your anxiety and your depression. You are an amazing person. To be as brave as you are to reach out for help is beyond admirable. I know there are people in your life who love and care about you so immensely and want nothing more than to be there for you and wrap you in their loving embrace.
I can’t stress enough how certain I am that this darkness will not last forever. This is a battle that you will win. These antidepressants will start to work, it may be gradual, but they will fight this inner battle for you. If you hold onto the hope that you will better and keep striving towards your happiness and tearing down these lies, you will be amazed and the change you will see in your life.
You are an incredible person who deserves to be here. I love you, and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Keep your head up, remind yourself daily how very special you are. You are not alone <3