Thank you for being here with us and sharing this. It sounds like you’re carrying a lot right now and things have gotten pretty unclear with your living situation, your career and just finding ways to be happy in general. Covid really hasn’t been helpful regarding mental health. It has forced us to be far from those we love and the activities we enjoy and are used to doing. It’s hard to find a new balance of staying connected these days.
All of the isolation and difficulties staying connected on top of the threat of eviction must be such an incredibly heavy weight to carry and I am sorry this has been your reality. That much stress and uncertainty truly takes it’s toll. That being said, I don’t think you finding such happiness by watching and interacting with your favorite streamers is sad at all. It sounds like it is a source of comfort and joy for you and that is wonderful! Especially in a time where distance from others is so large, it is important that we take part in even the smallest of things that can bring us little joys throughout the day.
I would encourage you to try making a list of things that bring you joy. Whether that is watching your favorite streamer, talking on the phone or facetiming with those you love, listening to your favorite music or even just eating your most favorite food! All of these little things add up and are so very important. What brings us joy doesn’t have to be grand or elaborate. Happiness can be found in little everyday things and I think now more than ever, it is important we pay attention to those little things and try to enjoy them a little more. You are juggling a lot right now and so taking even a little time to care for yourself and just set down all that you are carrying for even a little bit is so important.
As far as getting to a career that you enjoy, that can seem like an incredibly daunting task. One that is so large and complicated it can be overwhelming. However, it is ok not to have all the answers right now. You are doing the best you can right now and I would encourage you to take moments to remember that whenever you are feeling overwhelmed or are finding it hard to see the things that make you happy. I am a firm believer in things falling into place as they should in the time that they are supposed to. Although that time of uncertainty and waiting, trying to find what you are called to can be difficult, you do not have to go on that journey alone. You don’t have to carry any of your struggles alone. Take things one day at a time, or even one moment at a time. It is ok to be gentle with yourself. Know that although loneliness can creep up and seem to surround you, you have a whole community here who is with you and for you. We see you my friend. You are loved more than you know and are stronger than you think.