I’m terrified to mix the two things together and it’s tearing me apart. I barley have any friends, and I hardly feel supported by anyone at all. I feel like no one cares because no one likes to talk to me or even tries. I’m too scared to talk to people and feel completely stuck. I’m too scared to talk about my boyfriend to my friends and I feel guilty for not bringing him up all the time like most couples do. They know I’m dating him they just don’t know a bunch of stuff about everything, like I barley ever say anything. The last time I told a friend about my boyfriend, my friend left me. We had been friends for almost two years and they just dropped me because I was dating someone. This petrified me into telling people, I can’t afford to lose anymore friends. I really love my boyfriend, I’m just scared people will hate me. I’m also really scared to tell my boyfriend about my friends, so I just don’t. He freaks out if he knows I’m friends with a boy and screams at me and tells me I can’t talk to them. He accuses me of cheating whenever I leave the house and I would never… it breaks my heart but he’s too insecure to know that. My heart feels like it’s breaking, I want to meet new people and have good friends but I have such bad anxiety I can barley speak. On top of that I have the anxiety about my boyfriend disliking my friends and yelling at me. I can’t even go on my phone around him. I’m too scared to tell my friends about my boyfriend even though I would like to because I feel like they too will abandon me like everyone else. I’m just hurting so bad. I know I need to just be honest with both of them, stick up to my boyfriend and tell him that I want to have friends and whether they’re a boy or not I’m not just going to leave them. I have been doing that recently, so that’s good, it’s just exhausting and I’m really scared everytime I do. I know I need to man up and just tell my friends about my boyfriend, let them in on what’s going on in my life instead of fearing their reaction. Even if both of these things end up hurting me I need to do them to grow, it just feels like I don’t have the strength to be hurt anymore and I feel like such a terrible person for doing both of these things. I wish I could just be normal and not feel like this.
I’m sorry you are in tough situation. I cannot relate of being in a relationship, having a partner who doesn’t want me to have friends. We are humans. We are allowed to have relationships with others. You respect boundaries, and you will never betray your boyfriend. Have you try to have sit-down conversation with them?
I’m so sorry. I wish I could take this pain away from you. Just know that I love you and this whole community is here for you. You don’t deserve what you’re going through. You deserve happiness, love, peace, and comfort. I hope you find that here. I promise you everything will fall into place. If your friends choose to leave, they are not meant to stay. I encourage you to talk to your boyfriend about what’s going on. It may be a really uncomfortable conversation, but maybe it’ll be good for the both of you. Also remember, YOUR health comes first. How YOU feel matters. If you feel like you love your boyfriend, but he yells at you for having friends who are guys, and you’re uncomfortable with that, that should be something you confront. I encourage you to talk with him about these anxieties that are on your mind. If he loves you and cares, he’ll understand. Don’t let your feelings get in the way of your health.
I have, but it never gets anywhere. He will say that he’ll stop being controlling but he doesn’t.
Thank you very much!
I do try to talk to him about it and he knows how much I’m hurting but he’s still mad at me and lashes out.
Oh. I’m sorry.
This is really hard for you. You must be exhausted from being pulled in two different directions. It’s like your friendships and your relationship are fighting so hard for your attention and you don’t know how to navigate the solution. Looks like you have been trying to make your boyfriend aware of the issue, which is good; keep trying. Try and be just as honest with your friends and not only make them aware of your boyfriend, but also let them know that you’ve been working on his insecurities with you having friends. You might be surprised by the amount of love and support you get from them by just being honest that you’re struggling. You have a lot of hope, which is pretty admirable. You’re very capable of changing your situation and I’m excited to see how you grow. Know that you’re loved and cared for so much by all of us here. We are always here for you.
Hang in there friend,
Thank you so much ️ Made me smile, this means the world to me