From extrem_xxen: I was already at a very low point my life beforehand and now my boyfriend has started self-harming. Since then I’ve been having panic attacks and urges to sh too. I’ve tried to tell him to stop but I keep noticing fresh cuts and I feel like I’m not doing enough yet I don’t know what else I can do.
Please help me. I’m terrified for him and I’m worried sick he’s gonna kill himself.
It is very scary when someone we care about is struggling, but all you can do in these situations is be supportive. There is no amount of support however, that can change a person’s lack of self support. I don’t know if you could encourage them to seek professional help, or encourage them to reach out somewhere where they can feel free/safe to express what they are going through, but in the end no matter how much support you provide someone, it will never be enough support to replace a lack of self-love/self-support. All you can do is work on yourself and try to be the best you. You can’t control another person, or change another person’s ability to cope. That is something that has to happen within them. I’m not sure this is what you wanted to hear, but please also take care of yourself when trying to support those around you whom you love. I hope you and your boyfriend can find some ways to feel a bit better, and please feel free to share more of what you’re going through if you ever need/want. <3
Hi There,
Thank for being vulnerable with us and sharing your experience. This must be a very scary and overwhelming situation. No matter how much you want to help, there is only so much you can do other than be supportive, be a good listener, and look out for them. I would encourage you to try getting him. to see a professional and start working through the root cause of what is going on. Be strong for him and be brave for him. Again, I cannot begin to imagine how scary this must be but trust that together, you guys will get through this. Be there for him as his partner. Show him care and love through this difficult time. Also remember to take care of yourself so that you can take care of him. Please know that we are always here to support in any way possible. Sending you so much love. <3
Hi extrem_xxen,
Thank you for reaching out and for sharing with us about what you are currently going through. I’m sorry to hear about both your boyfriend’s and your struggles at the moment. It can really take a taxing toll on us when someone we love and care for is struggling and we feel uncertain about how we can help.
I am sure that you are being supportive and doing the best you can to be helpful for him, however, concerns of sh and suicide are both very heavy topics that may require outside help and assistance to tackle, especially if it is something that you struggle with yourself as well.
Unfortunately the most you can do is continue to be supportive and maybe expressing your concern and suggesting that he speaks to someone professionally that can help him to dive deeper into how he is feeling. Also, don’t neglect your own well-being and mental health in the process. If you notice that sh is something that you are starting to do, then maybe someone you can speak to professionally can be of help for yourself.